“Excuses will always be there for you, opportunity will not.” —Anonymous


I’m too tired…
I don’t feel like it…
I’m not in the mood…
I don’t get anything out of sex…
I have to get some work done…

Those are just a few of the excuses you and/or your spouse may have used when it comes to having sex.

When you look at those statements, you’ll quickly see they have something in common. 

They are all excuses.

The problem with excuses is that they often have an element of truth in them. You may indeed be tired or not in the mood. 

But excuses create distance. When you make excuses to not spend time with your spouse having sex, you’re actually doing two things. 

  1. You send the message that you don’t want to do something with your spouse.
  2. You also clearly state that you don’t want to examine the underlying issues of why you don’t want to connect sexually. 

Just like putting off cleaning out the garage or working in the yard, it’s easier to give an excuse rather than take action.

What if instead, you got to the heart of what’s behind the excuses and worked towards problem-solving actions. 

When you take ownership of those feelings, it’s amazing how much you can shift your sexual intimacy. When you both commit to dealing with your “stuff” you’ll also both be living the healthiest versions of yourselves. That’s a win-win situation. 

Sometimes this is hard to do on your own and you may need a coach to help. If you find that you cannot move past the excuse phase and onto the problem-solving phase you may need someone to help guide you down that path.

What’s most important is that you move forward and grow as a couple and as an individual when it comes to building your sexual intimacy.

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