590: CRYING DURING SEX OR AFTER ORGASM

“Tears are words the heart cannot express.” —Anonymous

crying during sex

Crying during sex, or “post-coital dysphoria,” happens to many women (42% of women in the ONE family have had this happen). There can be several reasons why a woman might cry during sex or after orgasm: From the intensity of her orgasm to reliving past sexual trauma. 

When crying does happen during or after sex, it’s important to be able to discuss what’s happening. Doing so helps both husband and wife have an understanding of the cause of the crying, and if there’s something that needs to be addressed.

When it comes to this experience, you may see tears, sadness, and even irritability post-sex. Even if the sex was satisfying.

This is why post-coital dysphoria makes things difficult for everyone involved. There are many questions associated with it. 

Husbands may wonder if they have done something wrong or if their wife is hurt. 

Wives can have similar feelings and questions, along with many more. 

It’s common for couples to wonder during these times, “What was that?”

To better understand what you and your spouse are experiencing, you’ll need to explore where the tears are coming from. 

The source of your tears can be from: 

  • Feeling overwhelmed at the intensity of the emotions.
  • How passionate the moment has been.
  • Gratefulness for the experience.
  • Hormones.
  • Locked up emotions or past sexual trauma.

So what do the two of you do if the tears come during sex or after orgasm? 

Wives, first give yourself permission to cry, allow yourself to feel.

Husbands, don’t be afraid to ask what your wife needs at that moment. It may be she needs to be comforted, or it could be she needs space. 

Wives, explore what you were thinking or feeling when the tears started. If you can identify that it was more of an “in the moment” physical pleasure response, then that may tell you it’s just your body reacting. 

If you identify that there are underlying issues causing the tears, then it’s time to take action. There may be areas you need to work on, either in your relationship or in your life. This is a sign that these areas still need healing or breakthrough. It also can be a sign for you that it could be time to start working with a marriage coach.

Sexual intimacy is an amazing experience between husband and wife, even if there happens to be post-coital dysphoria at times.

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