594: BEYOND COLOR BLIND

“God is not color blind or culture blind.” —John Gray

* This is a topic that we have never discussed on the show, and we want to say from the beginning that we might not get it right but that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to tackle it.

Color and race are being seen and discussed more than ever before.

It’s not a discussion to avoid. It is one we need to talk about.

Opening up the conversation around what you are experiencing in your family, in your marriage, and where you live.

This racial, political situation is also a marriage situation. And if there is one thing extraordinary couples do, they tackle the hard stuff to level up their lives and their communities. 

Through these conversations, many of you may have realized that you have a lot of space to grow.

Color exists and you need to be aware of it. You also may have realized there are many conversations that need to happen. Sadly, you may have discovered fear is often the motivator in not having the conversations.

Fear of…

• Not knowing what to say.
• Saying the wrong thing.
• Differing viewpoints.
• Being seen in a certain light.
• Causing more hurt or stepping on toes.

It’s this fear that is keeping you, and those around you, from having a connection. Fear can even prevent you from having intimacy in your marriage.

The breakthrough comes when you face your fears and have those tough conversations. 

When you are willing to have these conversations in your home, you can begin to gain confidence and clarity. Start by asking your spouse, kids, and family, “how are you processing all of this?”

This simple question can help you make those conversations start happening. Through that, you can begin the learning process. 

Then, when you reach out to a friend who is a person of color, and acknowledge that while you may not know what to say, it is because of your friendship, and respect for that person, that you’ll have the hard conversations.

You must be willing to seek understanding, even when your opinions might differ. 

Everyone’s opinion matters. It may not be yours, but that does not mean it doesn’t have value. 

But it’s possible that fear isn’t the only emotion that you may be experiencing. 

Although fear may be the stronger emotion, it’s the sadness you may feel in your world that may be the most painful.

Perhaps it’s the worry over your spouse leaving the house, and because of his or her skin color or profession, they may be in danger. 

Maybe it’s the anger over the injustice of watching people you know and love be treated differently than you are.

Will you be bold and have the conversation?

Are you ready to reach out to your black friends that need to hear from you? Even if it is to get a better understanding, reaching out speaks volumes.

Do your children need to hear and have a candid conversation about this with you? Your children are watching how you as a couple handle this. They are learning in real-time how to care about people from you. Especially people that may not look like you.

You can change circumstances. Think about how you can bridge the gap to your brothers and sisters who are hurting, and take action today.