6 Tips to Get the Fire Blazing in Your Sex Life

The facts do not lie. Sex boosts your immunity, reduces stress, increases your lifespan… and it is just plain fun. So why does it feel like such a chore for so many couples?

Over the years we have talked to hundreds of listeners who all say the same thing: sex has become routine, boring, and obligatory.

There was a time when that was our story too. Sex was the last thing on our to-do list. The thing we got to if there was time… and there was never time.

Your sex life does not have to stay that way. Here are 6 practical tips to get the fire blazing again.

1. Schedule It (Yes, Really)

If there is one thing that will have an immediate impact on your sex life, this is it. Schedule sex. Put it on the calendar like you would any other priority. You will be surprised how much anticipation and fun builds when you both know it is coming. You schedule everything else that matters… why not this?

2. Get Fit Together

Your overall health has a direct impact on your desire and energy in the bedroom. If you are run down and exhausted, it is tough to enjoy the sexual connection you want. Start a fitness program together. Changing your nutrition and moving your body brings you closer as a couple and fuels your sexual flame.

3. Dress the Part

We love our snuggle jammies too. But jammies rarely lead to hot sex. Ladies, try a flattering dress, a nightie, or a t-shirt with nothing underneath. Men, this goes for you too. A great-fitting pair of jeans, a silk pajama set, or a sexy pair of boxers changes the whole vibe. Dress like you want something to happen… and see what does.

4. Write a Love Letter

Texts disappear into the noise. A handwritten love letter? That stays. Drop it on their pillow, their desk, or mail it to them the old-fashioned way. Tell them what you love, what you want, what they do to you. Get that letter written and get ready for what comes next.

5. Talk About Sex (Outside the Bedroom)

You cannot get what you do not ask for. Talking about your sexual desires is one of the most powerful things you can do for your sex life… and the best time to do it is not right before sex. Talk about it over coffee, on a walk, or during a quiet moment. Share what you like. Share what you want more of. The only way to get comfortable talking about sex is to start talking about sex.

6. Take the Lead

Whether you are the high desire or low desire spouse, both of you need to initiate. Pursuing your spouse—and being pursued by them—changes everything about your sexual experience. Low desire spouses, this one is especially for you. Make the choice to go first. Be a servant lover. Watch what it does for your marriage.

Which of these 6 tips are you going implement in your marriage today?

Go Deeper with 19 Questions to Amazing Sex

Growing sexually closer is a process. The sex you had in year one may look different than it does now, and what you enjoy today may shift again in the future. That’s not a problem. That’s just marriage. Keep coming back to these tips and keep choosing each other.

Download our free guide, 19 Questions to Amazing Sex, and start the conversations that will transform your sexual intimacy. These are the questions most couples never think to ask… but wish they had. Grab your free copy here →

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