608: STRUGGLING WITH DESIRE

“Just because you are struggling doesn’t mean that you are failing.” —Anonymous

This has been a season unlike any other season we’ve known. We’ve had challenges created by COVID-19; from stay-at-home orders to the uncertainty as to what education will look like for your kids… whatever is on your plate, it’s all taking a toll on your marriage.
There can be many different things applying pressure to you and your spouse as a couple.

That’s because it’s occupying a lot of mental real estate. Because of this, “desire” may have taken a hit in your marriage. 

Desire is a funny thing. When it’s there, it feels so easy. You just go with it. 

But when it’s not there, desire may feel elusive or confusing. In some cases, you may wonder if you’re going to be stuck in this desire “limbo” forever.

As you move through the seasons of your relationship, the desire you have for one another may not be happening at the same time.

When that happens, you might notice that sex not only takes a back seat, but it also gets downright awkward. That doesn’t mean you don’t kiss or cuddle, but you do experience a noticeable change in your relationship.  

Drifting a bit, as you both work through what’s going on in the here and now of life, is normal. But when this disconnect starts, and you start to notice you are drifting apart, it’s important that you are not allowing a pattern of no sex emerge.  

It’s crazy how this struggle with desire can quickly turn into something really BIG! When that happens, you may begin to feel your marriage head toward a downward spiral.

This is why it is so important for you to be proactive and talk about things like the struggle for desire. It will equip you with what you need to know to create a game plan to execute (proactive) instead of slipping into strong emotions and a greater disconnect (reactive).

Be intentional and proactive in your concern! Plan a hot steamy night together. Schedule sex. Plan a date night

The focus should be on romancing each other and getting back on the same ground as a couple. Waiting around for the mood to strike can have the two of you waiting for a very long time. So be proactive and take action to regroup and romance each other. 

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