611: I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW

“Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” —Anonymous

When you arrive at a place of determining the value of your marriage based on liking or not liking your spouse, you may realize that things have been difficult for a while. 

• Hurtful words have been spoken. 
• There’s a level of disconnect. 
• There are behaviors happening you never thought you would experience in your marriage. 

But here’s the funny thing about liking someone…

When you base your feelings of LIKE on your spouse’s external behaviors and your internal dialog, you might not be seeing the full picture. 

All marriages go through seasons. During these seasons, you might not always like each other. There can be struggles with parenting your children, your sex life, or even struggles with finances. You may also have times when you struggle with your faith. 

What you may need to remember is your wedding day was not a guarantee that you were always going to like each other. Your marriage license was not a contract to always be happy or not experience struggle. 

But here’s a newsflash: 

The two of you are not necessarily the same people you were when you got married. This means you may need to learn to like the person you are married to now instead of trying to force them to be the person they were all those years ago. 

This is also because you don’t get to a place of liking by waiting for the other person to miraculously change who they are or what they are doing. You need to reflect on a few things so you can get to the root of why you aren’t liking them right now. 

It’s so easy to find yourself in a reactive posture in your marriage. You may think, “He did this, or she did that, so I’m justified in my behavior.” But is that the most proactive approach you can take?

You have the ability to create a shift in your marriage. Many wait for their feelings to change before they take action in their marriage.

However, the ability to do this means you’ll need to be intentional in what you do. You’ll also need to not be afraid to do the hard work, and not let emotions override the actions most beneficial to your marriage. 

You can always change your perspective, and you can always look to find the best in any person or situation; your marriage is no different.