“The most important thing is to never stop asking.” —Anonymous


It seems so simple. If you want something, you ask for it. 

When it comes to your marriage, it is actually not always that simple. 

It’s easy to get caught up with “life” and forget that each of you has different needs, and that those needs will change over time. This includes what you need from your marriage and from your spouse in order for YOU to feel fulfilled. 

There are a lot of reasons you may find yourself in this situation. Maybe it’s because earlier requests were met with a hard no. It could also be that you were not specific enough in your request. 

In some cases, maybe you have never really felt comfortable making your needs known. Maybe you feel as if you are not worthy of asking.

Whatever the situation, it’s challenging for your marriage when needs are not being expressed.

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That’s because when you are not able to express your needs, the unfortunate consequences over time can be resentment, disconnect, and a lack of communication in your marriage. 

It’s easy to think if your spouse isn’t expressing their needs or asking you for something, then things are good. Marriage, however, is not a simple relationship. It begins with you making promises to love, honor, and cherish each other, and yet it’s never really discussed exactly what that means over your lifetime together. A lifetime where you will change and grow. 

So if you don’t really know what your spouse needs, or you don’t express fully what you need in this season of life together, how can you love, honor, and cherish each other fully?

Remember if you’re not asking each other for what you need, that means you’re more than likely just guessing. 

That is why creating a culture within your marriage in which needs can be expressed and addressed is a key component of having intentional intimacy. Being an extraordinary couple means striving to understand, not guessing, how to meet the needs of your spouse and yourself.

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