“There are things we don’t know we don’t know. “—Donald Rumsfeld


An orgasm is an amazing experience.
For a man, the stereotype of having one is it’s “one and done.” Meaning one orgasm and then there is a waiting period until he can orgasm again. Yet, there are instances of men having multiple orgasms in one session.

Women, on the other hand, can have a range of orgasms. Some fall into the “over and over again” category, while others might not have one. In addition to these, there is a whole in-between thing for women too. 

Because of this, you may find yourself thinking about your spouse’s orgasms. 

It’s interesting how much your sexual intimacy is influenced by the other intimacies. Your emotional, recreational, and physical intimacy play a role in your spouse’s orgasm. Having a strong sexual connection is more holistic than you might realize. 

In just about every facet of marriage, the 6 pillars of intimacy are interacting with one another – in different capacities – but still interacting nonetheless. 

There are things you might do, like foreplay, that greatly increase the odds of having an orgasm. You might also know that having an orgasm is as much about emotional connection and feeling safe as it is about technique. You may have also realized that having one takes time, and just because it does not happen, you should not give up. 

In each of these, there is an element of emotional intimacy (what needs to be said, vulnerability, and trust) and also physical intimacy (what are the touches that get us to a place of being sexually intimate). 

What this tells us, is your marriage is a multidimensional relationship. You cannot always assume that only one area of intimacy is being affected. Instead, as you move through things, you need to consider what intimacies are being impacted. 

What you don’t know about your spouse’s orgasm is that it isn’t just about the orgasm… it’s about what’s going on in every area of your marriage. When each of your intimacies is taken into consideration, what you experience between the sheets is pure pleasure.

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