“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”—Steve Maraboli

past relationships

Have you ever had the experience where you’ve found yourself thinking about an ex? Maybe wondering what they are doing? Who they are with? Or even what it would have been like if the two of you were still together? 

It turns out it’s pretty common in the ONE Family to have thoughts like that. 

In a recent poll on Instagram: 

  • 45% expressed feeling an inexplicable tie to an ex, AND
  • 44% have struggled with the thought, “Why can’t I just get over this past relationship?”

What if it isn’t just a trip down memory lane? Maybe there is something deeper keeping this person in your thoughts. Has your soul been literally tied to them? What if that connection actually has a name?

It does!

That connection, that deep spiritual connection to another person, is called a soul tie. It’s literally our innermost being having a connection to another person’s innermost being. 

And it’s the reason why it can be so hard for folks to get over past relationships. 

When your soul is connected to another person’s soul through sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, or even spiritual intimacy, there is a bond that doesn’t just get severed because the relationship is over.

When you have become connected to another person in that deeply intimate way, it’s as if they hold a piece of you because you have given a piece of your soul to them. And it’s that piece they have that keeps you connected to them even if the relationship is in the past.

Maybe you’ve heard Genesis 2:24 before. It’s the passage that says, “and the two shall become one.” It’s often read at weddings to indicate the uniting of souls in that covenant relationship. Soul ties were designed to be healthy, they were designed to keep us unified in marriage. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Outside of marriage, those ties become this inexplicable connection to that person even after the relationship has ended. It’s those ties that lead you to think things like:

  • What if we had ended up together? 
  • What if the relationship hadn’t ended?
  • He/she was my first love.
  • I think I made the wrong decision.
  • I haven’t had closure.

When those connections linger from past relationships and you can’t let go, it’s time to take action. Un-Forgiveness, lack of closure, and romanticizing what was can all create the “what ifs” that are tumbling around in your head. Those “what if’s” can keep you from intimacy with your spouse. 

It’s time to be free from these past relationships so you can have the marriage you desire. If you find yourself in the cycle of thinking about your ex, romanticizing the past, or dreaming about the “what ifs,” it’s time to get help. You’ve tried getting over him or her on your own. It’s now time to work with a coach.

Breaking Ungodly Soul Ties

448: Working Out Forgiveness

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