“If what you are doing isn’t working, change it.” —Phil McGraw

scheduling sex

“This isn’t working for me…”

It’s a phrase that can be uttered about a lot of different areas in your marriage. One of these may be when it comes to scheduling sex.

You may also say or hear this phrase when it comes to: 

  • How the two of you handle finances.
  • When the two of you are in an argument.
  • When you’re currently not on the same page.
  • How you are living out the Intimacy Lifestyle.

Navigating these situations and developing the skills to work through these are the same regardless of the topic. That’s right. The motivators behind them can all be navigated by using the same skills. 

And like a lot of things in marriage how the two of you communicate when things aren’t working impacts your marriage infinitely. 

For instance, do you avoid the conversation because it’s going to make you uncomfortable or start an argument?

Do you ignore the elephant in the room and hope and pray that your spouse doesn’t call it out?

When marriage gets difficult do you get angry and emotional?

It doesn’t really matter if you are talking about how you handle the frequency of having sex or something else in your marriage. If it’s not working for you, you need to be able to communicate that to your spouse. Saying nothing doesn’t allow you to move forward. 

If nothing is said, then you both are going to be frustrated. More than likely you will also start having fewer conversations and then the next thing you know, something of a sore spot or issue is going to arise. 

So what should you do?

Think about these 3 key strategies:

  1. Regular time to talk…and talk about the important things, deeper than surface level.
  2. Suggest a solution…instead of just complaining about the problem.
  3. Follow through on what you agree to.

It’s with these 3 strategies you can address these situations in your marriage. Go on a Coffee Break weekly and get into what’s really going on in your marriage. You can address what isn’t working quickly, come up with a solution, and then follow through.

Remember, success comes in being intentional about your connection, coming with solutions, and following through on what you say.

140: Scheduling Sex

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