638: TAKE TIME TO GRIEVE

“Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” —Earl Grollman

It’s a topic that’s rarely easy to navigate and yet, we all face it. 

Grief.

Simply defined, it is a feeling of deep sorrow that you feel when you experience a loss. 

Now, It doesn’t always have to be as a result of death, it can be the loss of a job, a friendship, your marriage, or a dream for your future. 

For some, the tears sit right at the surface, always ready to spill over. For others, it seems like there are no emotions. 

No matter what happens the pain is real. 

The death of loved ones is particularly difficult. And it doesn’t matter if they had been sick for a while or if it was sudden. There is something that shocks our system when someone who was there, suddenly is not. 

The impact of that loss and the pain that follows is real.

First, it is always important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is a journey, not a destination. 

It is also something you should work through and not park in. 

So how do you work through grief as a couple? It begins long before grief arrives. How you turn toward one another in spite of the pain can greatly be impacted by the work you do before grief occurs. 

This is where emotional and physical intimacy really come into play in your marriage.

Unexpected grief is just that unexpected. And the effort that the two of you put into your marriage prior to that day helps to build a solid base of support when it does arrive. It’s this strong base that you’ve built that can help you to discuss emotions, deal with conflict, and ask for what you need at that moment. 

So while you can’t predict grief, you can strengthen your emotional and physical intimacy now to be prepared for when it does occur. 

No matter what happens, being there for your spouse is important. If you find that your spouse needs more than you can provide, get professional help. Working with someone who is trained can make all the difference for you and for your marriage.

Not a single one of us can avoid grief during our lifetime and yet we can be intentional now to be better prepared when it does happen.