“A successful marriage requires you to fall in love multiple times but always with the same person.—Anonymous

fall in love

Has there ever been a time in your marriage when you have felt as if you have fallen out of love with your spouse? 

If you answered yes, you are not alone in experiencing this.

As with many expectations surrounding relationships, expecting marriage to be all butterflies and warm fuzzies all the days of your lives is simply not possible. 

It may have had something to do with social media and the not so “real life” it began to portray and yet when it comes to being in love, it’s not always a fairytale 24/7.

That’s because if it looks like everyone else is having a wonderful marriage and you are dealing with kids, bills and the day to day, it’s easy to not “feel” like you are not “in love”.

You may also begin to ask where those feelings of being in love went. What causes them to leave a marriage? 

You may also be asking yourself if you had them at one point in time can you get them back?

When you fall in love, that early rush of discovering that this is your person is literally a chemical reaction within your brain. It’s easy to see why over time these hormones and the associated feelings can wane. Things like: 

  • Broken trust
  • Familiarity
  • Lack of touch
  • Feeling unappreciated or underappreciated
  • Lack of emotional connection
  • Laziness
  • Busyness

It sometimes is said that you can’t wait for the feelings to return in order to take action. Feelings FOLLOW action, not the other way around. So instead, you need to ask yourself, “What can I do” to set myself up to fall in love again?

219: I Love You, But I’m Not In Love With You

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