646: IT’S IMPORTANT TO SAY “I’M SORRY”
““I’m sorry” is a statement. “I won’t do it again” is a promise. “How do I make it up to you?” is a responsibility.” —Anonymous
Two super simple and potentially powerful words are…
…I’m sorry.
Apologizing brings a unique dynamic to a marriage. Why? When you do, it acknowledges that something has been hurtful. It also makes you aware that you have a role in causing pain.
The plus side is that you are desiring a different outcome in the future.
Ultimately, saying you’re sorry and doing this with sincerity can also acknowledge that you aren’t blowing off a situation. In fact, you’re acknowledging it and accepting your part in it.
It’s hard to admit that you caused your spouse pain. The truth is most people don’t want to be hurtful to others and more than likely you don’t intend to do something that hurts your spouse.
But when the “I’m sorry” is not authentic or someone fails to say it, a disconnect can begin to affect your marriage in many areas.
I’m sorry, when absent from your marriage, can lead to a breakdown in all of your 6 Pillars Of Intimacy.
Emotionally: you’re not talking to one another or on the surface
Physically: you don’t reach out to one another
Financially: you aren’t talking about money
Spiritually: you’re not praying for one another
Recreationally: you don’t spend time together
Sexually: you have sex infrequently
One reason that you might not apologize is pride gets in the way. This isn’t the only reason though.
From not being able to truly understand what you’ve done, to thinking apologizing is a sign of weakness, or a transfer of power saying “I’m sorry” is different for you and your spouse.
Challenges arise in your marriage when the lack of apology leads to negative consequences. If left for long enough resentment, lack of sex, the silent treatment, disconnect, and loneliness can infiltrate and create a wedge between the two of you.
Being able to express what happened and then apologizing is vital in strengthening your emotional intimacy and your marriage. It’s time to say “I’m sorry” to your spouse today.
When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right With Those You Love
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