647: I NEED YOU TO TOUCH ME

Touch me when I ask. Touch me when I am afraid to ask. Also, touch me with your lips, your hands, your heart.—Anonymous

touch me

Although the statement might seem a little confusing at first, physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are not the same things.

How so?

Physical touches are different than sexual touches although sexual touches do have an element of physical intimacy in them. Physical intimacy is the closeness and connection you feel from every type of loving touch.

But not everyone likes to be touched in the same way AND not everyone responds to touch in the same way so things can get a bit confusing. 

This concept of physical intimacy – the loving touch that doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sexual intimacy, can sometimes feel elusive. Especially if you feel like one of you is “not a touchy-feely” person. 

Our bodies were designed for touch. From the moment a baby is born, we hear terms like skin to skin contact, or kangaroo care, where the baby in only a diaper is placed on their parent’s chest. Little ones get hugs and kisses, snuggles, and cuddles. They feel the love you are giving all around them. They are comforted, soothed and feel your love. 

And yet for some, once that initial period of infancy is over, there may not be a lot of touches thereafter. For others, you or your spouse may have grown up with touch not being all that important. Your need for or giving physical intimacy can be both a combination of who you are and simply how you were raised. 

However, if you or your spouse is saying, “I need you to touch me”, then it’s important to address the cracks in this pillar. You can’t ignore it. It won’t go away. 

Laying the groundwork around what you both need and want is important as you strengthen your physical intimacy. These touches make each of you feel secure, seen, loved, and connected so knowing which ones each of you enjoy is important. 

Don’t blow off your spouse if they are saying I need you to touch me. This is an opportunity for you to both grow closer in your marriage.

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