“As we approach midlife in our middle 30s or early 40s we are not prepared for the idea that time can run out on us, or for the startling truth that if we don’t hurry to pursue our own definition of a meaningful existence, life can become a repetition of trivial maintenance activities.—Gail Sheehy

midlife crisis

The transition of identity that occurs between the late 30s and 50s is known as a midlife crisis.

Wait! What? A transition of identity.

When you stop to think, it’s something that makes sense. Sometimes when you reach a certain age, you just aren’t where you expected to be at that point. 

It could be with your marriage, your career or something else altogether. 

This “midlife crisis” can cause you to question the direction of your life in general. When that occurs you may also question the relationships you have with your spouse, kids, friends and others. 

A midlife crisis can happen to both  men AND women. 

Let’s take a look at what can happen to you in that 15-20 year span. (You’ll notice a trend!)

  • Kids grow up, graduate and you become empty nesters.
  • For some depending on when you started having kids, your kids could even marry and have their kids, making you a grandparent.
  • Your parents are aging, some have died making you the oldest generation.
  • Careers accelerate or have plateaued.
  • Your health is changing, maybe there are a few more wrinkles, a few more grays, a few extra stubborn pounds.
  • You are now the age that you used to think was old. 

All of this change and progression can easily have you waking up, looking in the mirror and asking, what the heck?

The impacts of a midlife crisis on a marriage can be tough. An affair, separation, or divorce can happen when feelings of distance, lack of trust and other issues are added to the mix. 

But if you understand the 6 Pillars of Intimacy and value them as a framework for intimacy in your marriage, the pillars can be used either ahead of a crisis or during it to strengthen your marriage.

It’s important to know that not everyone experiences a midlife crisis. When you are intentional and take action in your marriage you are taking steps to minimize and possibly avoid this as you strengthen your marriage over the long term.

Working on your marriage now prepares you for the many life transitions that can occur. You have a foundation to come back to.

So don’t wait, begin to strengthen your marriage today!

638: Take Time to Grieve

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Menopause and Marriage

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