668: THE PAIN OF REJECTION

“Rejection is like a blade to the heart. It’s the worst kind of pain.“ —Toni Sorenson

The word rejection can impact you in so many ways. 

Specifically when it applies to situations where one spouse wants to build intimacy and the other is not willing or engaged. 

Rejection isn’t just the overt “NO”, but also the indifference that you may feel or project. The lack of enthusiasm you may convey or share. 

And yet rejection in marriage is so much more than this. 

There can be times when you have emotionally rejected your spouse by not wanting to engage in conversations or purposefully avoiding conversations. 

Times when you have physically rejected one another by withholding touch. 

Situations where you may have said, “I’m too busy for you” or “I don’t have time to do things with you”. 

That’s why rejection in any form is painful. 

It can impact your body in ways you may not realize. Researchers have found that this rejection travels on the same neural pathways as physical pain. But it is actually more impactful and longer lasting than physical pain.

If you think about rejection and that pain felt, you likely can recall a memory and actually experience the pain almost as if it was still happening. That’s the power of emotional pain and why you need to address rejection in your marriage. 

You can get started by taking time to self reflect. Although it is not always easy acknowledging pain, even if the plan is to deal with it, it is still uncomfortable.  Work through those periods of self reflection and use it to help guide your way. 

Find an environment in which to share with your spouse that you are comfortable in. And then own it. 

Go on a walk and talk, head to a park, sit under the stars or even sit in front of your coach or marriage coach. No matter what, get out of the house so that you can break free from the distractions or emotions that you have dealt with.

Whether you have been the one who has rejected your spouse or have felt the pain of their rejection, this is your time to set a new course. 

It’s so easy to point fingers or to make excuses but now is not the time for that. You are on the same team, so make a game plan, not a battle plan.

Don’t wait! This is a conversation that needs to happen. Marriages thrive when the individuals are healthy. So start the conversation now.

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