“Christmas gives us a special opportunity to pause and reflect on the important things around us.” —David Cameron

Christmas traditions

With Christmas right around the corner, you may reflect on the traditions that you have and why those Christmas traditions are meaningful to you.

A tradition is defined as an established pattern of thought, action, or behavior.

For the holidays, there can be a lot of things competing for your thoughts. There can be a lot of things that you have to get done (your actions).

And well, your behavior—that can be all over the place.

But what does it mean to your marriage and to the 6 Pillars of intimacy for you to be intentional about Christmas traditions that the two of you have around one of the busiest times of the year?

Traditions, both little and big, center us. 

They remind us of what we value.

Traditions remind us of what’s important to us. 

They become a way to focus on what’s in front of us. 

Christmas traditions can be simple and involve the whole family or just the two of you:

  • Christmas pajamas
  • A special Christmas movie (Charlie Brown, National Lampoon, the Grinch, the Santa Claus)
  • Exchanging ornaments
  • Opening one present on Christmas eve
  • Christmas Eve services
  • Random things from the pantry in the stockings
  • Making Christmas presents instead of buying
  • Opening stockings first
  • Making Christmas breakfast together
  • Sex and new lingerie

Looking at the Christmas season, you can make a tradition in any of the 6 Pillars.


Think about taking a quiet evening to reflect on the year, talking about the season, focusing on the two of you.


Kisses under the mistletoe, cuddling in front of the fire, hot chocolate under the stars.


Christmas shopping together, making Christmas gifts, choosing how many presents to buy or how much to spend, buying the Christmas pajamas.


Christmas Eve/Day services together.


Christmas lights, Christmas movies, decorating the tree together.


Christmas eve or Christmas morning sex, new toys for Christmas, new lingerie for Christmas.

If you aren’t sure where to get started, remember to use the 6 Pillars of Intimacy as a base to start a tradition this year or add to what you already do!

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