“Don’t mix bad words with your bad mood. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to change your mood but you’ll never get the opportunity to change the words you spoke.” —Anonymous

name calling

Often, couples have nicknames for each other. Sweet names like “honey” or “babe”.

But then there are those words and names that leave lingering negative feelings. Names that do damage. Negative words they stick with you.

There is a tendency to replay those things that negatively happen. Perhaps more so in marriage, when those words are spoken by your spouse. Especially when it comes to name calling.

Likely you’ve heard the rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

It’s not true. Name calling hurts.

Calling one another names breaks down the trust between the two of you and it impacts your emotional intimacy. It makes the relationship feel unsafe. It makes you question your value and your identity.

You were designed for greatness and yet it’s easy to live the weight of these words and get lost.

But it’s not just the words, it’s the disconnect that comes as a result because when these words are spoken, the impact is tremendous.

  • It escalates the argument
  • Leads to more tension
  • It hurts
  • It makes you want to withdraw
  • You feel devalued
  • You shut down
  • It ruins your self confidence
  • You felt guilty
  • It’s destructive
  • You can’t take it back

Name calling isn’t harmless, it’s a seriously big deal because it breaks down the connection between the most sacred relationship, your marriage. It’s a heart issue that needs attention.

So how do you recover?

Start with a sincere apology and really mean it.

You must realize the words being spoken, and the damage by those words.

If it’s damaging to your marriage, it needs to change. If your spouse is walking on eggshells trying not to set you off, something needs to change.

Just because it’s what you’ve always done doesn’t mean that it’s the only way. Grab The Trust Factor to start the healing process of rebuilding trust which will allow the two of you to strengthen your emotional pillar today.

If you are in an emotionally abusive marriage please get help. Call or contact the agencies below for assistance.

Women call:

US: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Australia: Call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
Worldwide: Visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.

Men call:

US: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
: Call the ManKind Initiative at 01823 334244
Australia: Visit One in Three Campaign

The Trust Factor: How to Rebuild Trust in Your Marriage

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