“The greatest gift you can give your spouse is your time. Because when you dedicate your time, you are offering a part of your life that you will never get back.—Anonymous

date night rut

Have you ever sat as a couple and asked yourselves…

“Which pillar of intimacy do we need to focus on this upcoming week? “

You may have never asked each other that question, and yet when you think about it, it’s a great one to ask. Even if you are in a season in your life where you spend a lot of time together, you may never talk about a focus for your week.

Are you in a date night rut? Looking for a starting point? How about your Recreational Intimacy?

Your Recreational Intimacy may have run the full spectrum. From nights at the local taco shop, when you were dating, to week-long vacations without the kids. You may feel you have done it all, or maybe not near enough.

Recreational Intimacy is that closeness and connection that comes from purposeful time together with the one that you love.

However, one area where many couples may get stuck is when time together becomes functional. Yes, there will be those times when you need to focus on work or other functional tasks together. But spending recreational time together vs. functional time together is very different.

Here’s an example: running errands together, watching the kids play sports as the two of you sit side by side, being on opposite ends of the couch with the TV on and the two of you on your phones.

Time together? YEP — you can check that box off.

Connection? Not likely. Why? Because for a lot of you, that time can all be about the tasks at hand and not just enjoying one another’s company.

In a nutshell, you are missing out on that little 3 letter F word.


Finding activities, big and small, that you enjoy doing together can foster feelings of connection and closeness and will help pull you out of a date night rut.

One way to generate ideas is to build your own date night list using the Date Night Done Right guide.

Spending time with your spouse, dating them, learning who they are now, having fun with them, isn’t just something for other people.

Get intentional about building your recreational intimacy and watch how it overflows into other areas of your marriage!

10 Date Ideas You Should Do With Your Spouse

Date Night Done Right

EPISODE SPONSOR | The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage

Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage?

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Medical Disclaimer: The content of this article & website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider.