7 Mistakes You’re Making in the Bedroom (and How to Fix Them Fast!)

If you walked into marriage expecting a blazing sex life but found yourself feeling more frustrated than fulfilled, you’re not alone. Great sex doesn’t just happen. It’s a skill built through intentionality, communication, and practice. But many couples unknowingly make small mistakes in the bedroom that quietly chip away at their intimacy.

The good news? Most of these mistakes are easy to fix once you recognize them!

If your sexual intimacy has started to feel a little dull or disconnected, you might be falling into one (or more) of these common pitfalls. Here’s how to shake things up and reignite the passion between the sheets.

1. Your Bedroom Is Uninviting

A cluttered, chaotic bedroom is not exactly setting the mood. If your space is filled with laundry piles, bright overhead lights, or pictures of your in-laws staring at you, it’s time for a change.

Quick Fix: Make your room a sanctuary for intimacy. Declutter, adjust the lighting, and remove distractions. Better yet, turn it into a fun challenge with your spouse where you give points for tasks completed!

2. You’re Not Communicating Your Desires

This is one of the most common mistakes couples make in the bedroom. Your spouse isn’t a mind reader. If you’re not openly sharing your likes, dislikes, or desires, it won’t be long before frustration begins to build up.

Quick Fix: Grab our 19 Questions to Amazing Sex to get the conversation started and share with each other what you’d like to do in the bedroom.

3. Electronics Have Taken Over

If your nightlight is the glow of a phone, tablet, or TV, you’re inviting distractions into the most intimate part of your day. Scrolling through social media or binge-watching shows doesn’t set the stage for connection. In fact, there is nothing more frustrating than rolling over to a spouse who is completely engaged with something on their phone.

Quick Fix: Make your bedroom a tech-free zone. That’s right: Get rid of all the electronics. No phones, no screens—just the two of you. You’d be surprised how much more connected you feel when the distractions disappear.

4. You’re Hiding Your Body from Your Spouse

Too often, insecurity holds couples back from experiencing a full and vibrant sex life. If you’re always covering up, dimming the lights, or avoiding your spouse’s gaze, it’s time to shift your mindset.

Quick Fix: Remember that your spouse loves you for who you are. Confidence is attractive, and your sexual intimacy thrives when you both feel safe, desired, and appreciated. Instead of hiding, focus on feeling good in your own skin and letting your spouse enjoy the visual beauty you have.

If you need personal help working through body confidence issues, marriage coaching is a good place to start. 

5. Spiritual Intimacy Is on the Back Burner

Making love and praying together are two of the most intimate activities you can do together. Often, fear will stop you from opening up and praying with your spouse. Don’t let this fear hold you back from an intimate opportunity to connect with your spouse.

For years, we struggled to make prayer an intimate part of our marriage. Once we let go of our own egos and began to come from a place of thankfulness, that is when we finally begin to enjoy this special time together.

Quick Fix: Set aside time to pray together, express gratitude, or simply reflect on your journey as a couple. You might be surprised at how this deepens your connection beyond sex.

6. You’re Expecting Spontaneous Sex

Having spontaneous sex is amazing! The problem is that life happens in your marriage, and waiting for the perfect moment usually leads to no moments at all. One of the biggest mistakes you can make in the bedroom is expecting sex to just happen.

Quick Fix: Schedule sex. Despite what most couples think, scheduling sex is exciting in its own right. It builds anticipation, plus it helps you both prioritize sexual intimacy, even when life is busy.

7. Sticking to the Same Routine

Same time, same place, same position… It’s no wonder things feel stale! Routines are great in most areas of life, but it’s important to shake things up in your sexual intimacy to keep the spark alive.

Quick Fix: A fun way to break out of the routines you have in your sex life is by playing a sexy board game together. By playing one of these games, you don’t have to think of something new to do. Just follow the directions for your game of choice and go from there. We’ve had sexual ruts in our marriage, and picking up a fun game for the bedroom helps launch us into a season of sexual passion.

Tired of Falling Into Sexual Ruts? Here’s Your Next Step

You’re bound to make subtle mistakes in the bedroom from time to time. But too often, couples don’t recognize the issues until it’s already created cracks in their Sexual Intimacy Pillar, and often several others.

If you want to learn simple tools and strategies to avoid these mistakes, Intimacy Mastery is the place to be.

Intimacy Mastery helps you break free from surface-level marriage and create the deep, lasting connection you crave—even if you’re the only one ready to change. You’ll get live coaching, proven tools, and private community support so you can start taking action immediately.

Don’t settle for a marriage that feels like roommates. Join Intimacy Mastery today.