Marriage is one of those things that can get more challenging the longer you’re in it.
You want a marriage that is constantly growing better, stronger and more extraordinary… but you may not know what to do right now to accomplish this.
We’ve been married 22 years. There have been seasons when we didn’t even try.
Here’s the amazing thing about being committed to constant growth and involvement in your marriage.
Improving your marriage doesn’t just impact the two of you. It impacts your kids, your extended family, friends and everyone that you come in contact with.
We hope you’ll consider these seven simple 7 ways to improve your marriage today:
Seek And You Shall Find
Complimenting and encouraging your spouse keeps you focused on YOUR marriage. When YOU compliment your spouse of their amazing attributes you also are reminding yourself of these attributes as well.
What if today, even amidst chaos, kids and crammed schedules you only looked for the good? How that impact how you responded to your husband or wife?
What if you took that habit and reminded yourself of it everyday? How would that affect your marriage this year? Or the next 5 or 10?
Commit to finding the positive.
There aren’t plenty of things that can tear your spouse down, don’t let yourself be one of them.
Time Is The Ultimate Gift
Time is the only resource we cannot gain back, buy back, or wish back.
This is why it’s the most important gift you can give anyone — including your spouse.
This year make a decision to create space in your life for your spouse. Just the two of you. This means without the kids.
Your relationship with your spouse is one of the most important you’ll ever have.
Doesn’t it deserve time on your calendar the way your work, conference calls, and PTA meetings do too?
Some dates may be out on the town and others could be as simple as a home cooked and candlelit dinner in your living room. We’ve done both over our 19 years of marriage.
It the time together, not the activity that matters.
Put a weekly date night back on the calendar for 2016.
Speak Their Language
When you make continuous deposits into your spouse’s love tank you are showing love to them in their love language. What’s their love language?
- Do they prefer to hear words of affirmation?
- Would a simple touch or physical closeness be what they need to feel connected to you?
- Do they need quality time or enjoy receiving gifts?
Your love language doesn’t always equal theirs. Yet this is how many partners display love.
Your love language may be acts of service – so taking out the garbage feels a great way to display how much you care about your spouse.
But if their love language is words of affirmation, your spouse may rather take the trash out themselves if they could get a simple “Wow, honey… I know you wear that skirt often… but it looks so great on you today!”
Make sure you are speaking their love language, so you’re both smiling.
Be Content Jealousy Will Steal The Joy Out Of Your Marriage
To grow closer together you need to be able to trust your each other.
Rebuilding your trust could be the best thing you do for yourself and your marriage. Trust is built in the small actions done consistently.
Are you giving your word and keeping it?
What if for the next week you kept every promise you made?
If you need help getting off the emotional roller coaster of jealousy, consider our popular book The Trust Factor.
Forgiveness Isn’t About THEM, It’s About YOU:
Your spouse may not be asking for you to forgive them and yet it’s not about them.
It’s about you.
Contrary to believe, there’s only one person you can control in your marriage… is YOU.
Hanging on will torment you over and over again.
Ask yourself, “If I truly let go of this thought that isn’t serving me right now, how would I treat my wife or husband? How much more would our marriage improve? How would I feel?”
We aren’t asking you to forget, just forgive. Over and over again. Even great spouses will make mistakes.
Be a Servant Lover
By nature we are selfish. Most of us, want what we want when we want it.
In marriage you have the opportunity to serve your spouse. Believe us we know this can be tough at times
However when you choose to lift up your spouse and serve them you will see an increase in all 6 forms of intimacy.
Keep Your Marriage Between You And God
The most powerful tool you can implement to improve your marriage is prayer.
It’s making the decision to take your concerns to God first instead of your friends.
It’s seeking God’s will for your marriage, instead of what society is “telling” you to do.
It’s choosing to love and live as God would have you do so. Faith is about creating a solid foundation for your marriage.
Like us and the many couples we have coached over the years it’s when simple actions are done consistently that your marriage will be changed for the better.