7 Ways to Navigate Pregnancy and Infant Loss as a Married Couple

Within the ONE Family, many couples have walked through the devastating heartbreak of pregnancy loss and infant loss.

These kinds of losses turn your world upside down. They can shake the very foundation of your marriage. And they can leave you and your spouse feeling more disconnected from each other at the exact moment you need each other most.

That’s why we want to share seven ways you can stay close and connected throughout the healing journey.

Strengthening Your Marriage After Pregnancy and Infant Loss

You and your spouse will grieve differently. You’ll heal on different timelines. And at times, you may feel like you’re carrying your grief in completely different ways.
This is normal.

The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® (emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual) are the foundation of a healthy, thriving marriage. During pregnancy or infant loss, each one of these pillars can develop cracks. Recognizing that is the first step to protecting your relationship as you heal.

1. Communicate Your Emotions

Grief affects each person differently, so creating a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings matters more than ever right now.

• If one of you is struggling to find the words, that’s okay
• Consider working with a grief counselor or marriage coach to help you both process
• Leaning into emotional intimacy during this time can actually deepen your connection

2. Comfort Each Other 

Sometimes there are no words. And that’s okay.

• Prioritize physical closeness, like holding hands, hugging, cuddling
• Non-sexual touch is powerful and healing
• Simply being present for each other is enough

3. Prioritize Financial Transparency

Money may be the last thing on your mind right now… but ignoring this pillar can create additional stress down the road.

• Have an honest conversation about medical expenses and financial goals
• Transparency builds trust, even during painful seasons
• If the budget allows, consider getting away together (even a short trip can help you reconnect)

4. Cling to Your Faith 

Although your loss may never make sense, this is the time to dive deeply into Scripture, prayer, or other spiritual resources. It is okay to cry out to God as you wrestle to understand why this loss has occurred. Share with your spouse what you are feeling and learning during this time.

This is the time to lean hard into your faith, not away from it.

• Ask for prayer and respond to altar calls for healing
• Stay connected to your faith community: attend church, lean on your small group, ask for prayer
• When others offer to help, let them

5. Experience Joy Again

While your grief journey will look different than your spouse’s, it’s essential to continue doing things you both enjoy—both individually and together.

• Return to activities you’ve always loved as a couple
• Try something new together to create fresh memories
• Create new, happy memories together

6. Re-engage with Each Other Sexually 

Grief can affect your desire and your ability to connect sexually, and that’s completely understandable.

• Talk openly about where you each are and what you’re feeling
• Remember that sexual intimacy includes romance, initiation, and foreplay (not just intercourse)
• This pillar of your marriage still matters, and there’s no pressure to rush

7. Don’t Do This Alone

Whatever you do, don’t try to walk this road in isolation. Join a community or start small with resources that meet you where you are right now.

• Carrywell — A beautiful community for couples navigating infertility and pregnancy or infant loss. From support groups to one-on-one connections, they offer real encouragement for the journey. Visit their website or follow them on social media to learn more.
• Dads Hurt Too: A Father’s Memoir of Miscarriage — Miscarriage often leaves fathers feeling overlooked, expected to be strong for their wives, uncertain of how to express their own pain, and unsure of where to find comfort. Eric Schumacher gently reminds dads that they are not alone and that their grief matters.
• Ours: Biblical Comfort for Men Grieving Miscarriage — This 31-day devotional gives biblical comfort and practical support to men processing miscarriage.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Remember, your marriage is worth fighting for, and there are people ready to walk this road with you.

Love you guys.

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