October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Within the ONE Family, many couples have faced the devastation and heartbreak of these types of losses. 


Pregnancy and infant loss are experiences that turn your life and marriage upside down. Knowing how to stay strong as a couple during this time is imperative. 

To safeguard your marriage, focus on these seven actions that can help you stay close and connected to your spouse throughout the healing journey. 

Strengthening Your Marriage After Pregnancy and Infant Loss

The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® are the foundation of a healthy and thriving marriage. When you experience pregnancy or infant loss, each of these pillars is at risk of developing cracks.

The stress, pain, and confusion of pregnancy and infant loss can make you feel disconnected from your spouse. 

First, recognize that this is normal. You and your spouse will grieve and heal in different ways. As a result, you might feel a strain on your relationship. 

Try to remain open-minded and empathetic during this time. Focus on ways you can pursue your own healing since your spouse cannot do it for you. 

1. Communicate Your Emotions

Grief affects each person differently. Create a safe space for the two of you to share your thoughts and feelings. If one of you is hesitant to engage in conversation or you are struggling to know what to say, consider seeking help from a therapist or marriage coach. 

Grief counseling is important so you can talk through the stages of grief. This external support can help you process your emotions individually and as a couple, leading to deeper emotional intimacy. 

2. Comfort Each Other 

Pregnancy and infant loss can feel devastating beyond words. Sometimes, all you can do in those moments is be there for each other. 

As you navigate pregnancy or infant loss, prioritize physical intimacy. Loving, non-sexual touches, such as holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and more, can help you feel reconnected as spouses. 

3. Prioritize Financial Transparency

Understandably, money might be the last thing on your mind. However, ignoring this pillar can lead to greater challenges down the line. 

Take some time to discuss your financial goals and any medical expenses. This transparency can increase the trust between the two of you when it comes to your financial intimacy. 

During this time of grief, you might also consider getting away just the two of you to reconnect and spend time alone together. When reviewing your finances, consider what resources or opportunities are available to help you work through your loss. 

4. Cling to Your Faith 

Although your loss may never make sense, this is the time to dive deeply into Scripture, prayer, or other spiritual resources. It is okay to cry out to God as you wrestle to understand why this loss has occurred. Share with your spouse what you are feeling and learning during this time.

Now more than ever, you also need the support of your faith community. Continue attending church or your small group. Ask for prayer and respond to alter calls for healing. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for prayers or help from others. And when others offer to help, allow them.

5. Experience Joy Again

While your grief journey will look different than your spouse’s, it’s essential to continue doing things you both enjoy—both individually and together.

You may choose to return to past favorite activities. Or you might try something new together as a way to deepen your recreational intimacy. 

Whatever activities you choose, make an effort to do things that are fun and exciting. As a result, you can create new memories in your marriage and grow closer together.

6. Re-engage with Each Other Sexually 

Grief may affect your desire and ability to engage in sexual intimacy. It’s important to communicate your feelings and expectations with your spouse. Patience and understanding play a key role as you approach sexual intimacy. 

However, it is also important to remember that sexual intimacy is a crucial pillar of your marriage, and its purpose extends beyond reproduction. It also is not limited to intercourse. 

During this time, remember that sexual intimacy includes romance, initiation, foreplay, and sexual intercourse. You can lean into other areas of sexual intimacy to strengthen this pillar. 

7. Join the Carrywell Community

For couples who are experiencing the grief and heartbreak of pregnancy or infant loss, our hearts are with you. From our own experience, we know the challenges you are facing. 

Yet we also know that your greatest trials can become your greatest testimonies to encourage and comfort others. That’s why it’s so important to have a community that understands the journey you are walking through. 

The Carrywell community offers many resources for couples walking through infertility and loss. From support groups for men and women to one-on-one connections and much more, they are a source of encouragement and comfort for many couples grieving pregnancy and infant loss.

You can learn more about Carrywell by visiting their website or following them on social media

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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