701: ACTIVELY REBUILDING BROKEN TRUST
“Trust is earned when actions meet words.” —Chris Butler
There are a lot of conversations that happen around broken trust and a lot of powerful emotions that are associated with trust being broken.
When trust is broken in your marriage, you no longer have the firm belief in the reliability, truth or strength of your spouse or marriage.
But first, let’s define trust so that we are all on the same page:
Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
How trust is broken can be different for each couple. Trust can be broken in many ways.
The reason that the feelings around trust are different is it is our life experiences that impact us most. Don’t dismiss what you are doing as being little and not really affecting your spouse.
No matter how small the breach in trust is, it all adds up. Don’t dismiss something small as not affecting your marriage.
In order to rebuild the trust, it’s helpful to use The 6 Pillars of Intimacy as a framework, a structure for the two of you. This includes your emotional intimacy and having those hard conversations.
Your physical intimacy may feel awkward too, so start small. No matter what, respect one another’s space.
Depending on how trust was broken, your financial intimacy and your spiritual intimacy may have also been affected and made you question your comfort level. Wondering if you need to change passwords or even asking God why is something to feel when a crisis hits your marriage.
One reason so many couples find themselves in situations of broken trust is that they weren’t spending time together. Turn off the tv, put down the phones and spend some time together.
It doesn’t have to be complicated, and it doesn’t require a weekend away.
When trust has been broken, some couples can’t imagine having sex and others use it as a tool to create the connection that was missing for both of them.
Remember that sexual intimacy is the other side of the coin from emotional intimacy. The two of you both want these needs to be met.
Where is your spouse comfortable? Where are you comfortable? What actions are open to the two of you right now? Where do you want it to get to?
Understanding The 6 Pillars of Intimacy will help to give you a framework to tackle these issues in your marriage. Be encouraged and hopeful, moving forward together as you continue to learn and grow together!
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