“Living in denial won’t change your situation. Be real with yourself so you can fix your problems. Time is too precious to waste.—Tony Gaskins

get an erection

When there is a struggle to get an erection, both you and your spouse are affected. That’s why it needs to be talked about, so you can take action together.

According to Mayoclinic.org Erectile dysfunction (impotence) is the inability to get and/or keep an erection firm enough for sex.

It’s also important to note that studies have shown that the prevalence of ED increases with age. The Massachusetts Male Aging Study found that approximately 40% of men are affected at age 40 and nearly 70% of men are affected at age 70.

Although it may feel like many are not affected, it’s important that you don’t ignore this situation in your marriage if it is happening. ED isn’t just about him not being able to get or keep an erection, it’s about what’s causing this.

There are some key factors that are involved in erectile dysfunction:

  1. Decreased circulation including a narrowing of the arteries… circulation problems are the most frequent cause and a sign that it’s not just the arteries in your penis that are having problems, your heart has major arteries that keep you alive. Don’t ignore this… early warning sign decreased nighttime/morning erections.
  2. Impaired nerve function because of neurological disorders like stroke, Parkinsons, brain trauma and aging nerves.
  3. Altered body chemistry… low testosterone, unbalanced neurotransmitters, thyroid output, medications and drugs
  4. Stress and psychological issues including unrelenting stress, burnout, performance anxiety, porn addiction and sexual trauma

So you can see why understanding the “why” and getting to the root cause empowers you to take action. This is a situation that definitely affects your marriage. It can lead to embarrassing situations, frustration, a sexless marriage, feeling helpless or even feelings of rejection.

There are many emotions that get stirred up around this topic. Since there are, start with the book “The 21st Century Man or The Penis Book”.

It’s also important that you schedule an appointment with your doctor. You should also go into the meeting with notes on what you’ve been experiencing and your feelings.

If you prepare ahead of time, you’ll feel more confident in just reading your notes and not having to remember what you wanted to say.

Don’t forget there are other ways to connect emotionally, physically and sexually. The two of you are on the same team, work together to support one another through this season. Be proactive in what you can do to stay connected.

Living in a state of denial won’t change what’s happening. That’s why you need to start the conversation today.

The Penis Book: A Doctor’s Complete Guide to the Penis

The 21st Century Man

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