711: REKINDLE THE ROMANCE

“A great marriage doesn’t just happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but rather how well you continue to love.—Anonymous

rekindle the romance

Romance is an issue for a lot of couples, especially couples that are struggling with their marriages.

There are these media ideals of what romance should look like. And yet when you really dig deep into what it means in actual marriages, it’s not surprising that it doesn’t quite look like what you see on social media or on TV.

It’s no surprise that sometimes what you think should happen doesn’t. That’s because unlike on a movie set, you and I don’t have 276 members of cast and crew making sure that we say the right thing, have the lights just right, look perfect, have the perfect mood set, the kids amazingly quiet and so on.

Like you we live in the real world where this isn’t the case.

Let’s start with a couple of definitions of the word ROMANCE:

As a noun: a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love
As a verb: to court; woo

So romance is both a feeling and an action. That’s important to remember. There can be times when you get caught up in one aspect or the other.

I don’t feel romanced (action) or we don’t have any romance (feelings).

So how do you find balance? You need to go back to your framework and strengthen your marriage using The 6 Pillars of Intimacy as your guide.

Some ideas on how to cultivate romance in your marriage, both the action and the feeling categories, can be done by asking your spouse the question… What ways do you like to be romanced?

Don’t assume that what worked when you were dating is the same thing as now.

Taking action to woo your spouse is important too. Create that feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Random things like hugs and kisses, dancing in the kitchen to your song are great ideas!

It’s all about purposeful and meaningful ways that you work to rekindle your marriage.

Remember: An extraordinary marriage doesn’t just happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue to love.

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