You don’t get results by focusing on the results. You get results by focusing on the actions that produce the results.—Mike Hawkins


Losing focus is so easy to do. Between kids, work, chores and more, it’s easy to see why your focus can be drawn away from other important things in your life.

But what happens when your marriage is what you lose focus on?

Life is busy and the journey to being disconnected does not happen quickly, but can happen over time. Over the years, you may have noticed you have stopped spending as much time together because you are so busy.

Kisses may have become fleeting or even non-existent. Your sex life may have dwindled and your conversations went from being deep to being about the logistics of your lives.

It’s easy for your marriage to take a back seat and you find yourselves focused on everything else. But if you don’t focus on the two of you and your marriage, you’ll run dry.

You’ll be trying to operate from an empty tank. Just like a car that can’t run without gas, your marriage can’t run without attention from you.

The challenge for a lot of couples comes because often they don’t know where to start. You may have said things like:

  • We just need to work on our communication
  • It would be great if we spent more time together
  • We should go on dates
  • What would it look like if we pray together
  • We need to work on the budget

Great first steps and yet without specifics, or without identifying exactly which pillar of intimacy you are addressing and why, you can find yourself frustrated and feeling like you don’t have a plan.

First, you have to know The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. These are Emotional, Physical, Financial, Spiritual, Recreational, and Sexual Intimacy. Then you can decide which one to work on.

Once you know that, you can decide what actions can you take. When you get focused on doing small actions consistently, over time, you create a habit. It’s much easier to do small actions repeatedly than to do one big thing! It’s just too much pressure!

Remember, you get to choose the intimacy you want to focus on and what your actions will be. What you give attention to gains importance, so give your marriage the attention it deserves.

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