716: SOLVING THE PROBLEM OF UNVOICED EXPECTATIONS
“People cannot live up to expectations they don’t know have been set for them.” —Rory Vaden
Sometimes, husbands and wives become extremely frustrated with one another.
The frustration can take many forms and yet some things you may have heard and said are…
- “I can’t believe that he/she did that (or didn’t do that).”
- “Well, I didn’t know that this was important to you.”
- “How could you not know that? I would think by now you’d know me well enough to know that I’d want that.”
Unvoiced expectations continue to be a source of tension in marriage.
Everything flows from your ability and willingness to communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires both verbally and non-verbally.
When it comes to the expectations that the two of you have, sharing them verbally (spoken or written) is the only way to go because people cannot live up to expectations they don’t know have been set for them.
All of us have expectations. Big/small, it doesn’t matter. They’re there and when they are not addressed and discussed, all kinds of yucky emotions come to the surface.
Insecurity, feeling ignored, loneliness may pop up. Feelings of insignificance or even resentment creep forward.
When they are allowed to sit and aren’t dealt with, the disconnect grows and you might find yourselves dealing with other things like anger, impatience and more.
But why does this happen in the first place? There are many things that make this happen, from the logistics of your life to even the fear of being rejected.
When you can understand what causes them to be unvoiced, then you can add in strategies to overcome this. You can get to a place of solving the problem of unvoiced expectations.
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