“Flirting while married is highly disrespectful. While it may seem harmless it can be very hurtful to the person that loves you.—Anonymous


Extraordinary couples are mindful of those things that can be detrimental to their marriage. These couples also notice shifts in the marriage dynamic so that they don’t set themselves up for failure.

They work on all 6 Pillars of Intimacy® because cracks in any of the pillars can be an opening for looking outside of the marriage.

But how does flirting fit into the mix?

For reference, flirting is when you behave as though you are attracted to or trying to attract someone. It might be an area that you’ve not explored within your marriage.

But here’s the thing… if the two of you don’t talk about it and your spouse witnesses you flirting with someone who isn’t them, what is the potential damage that you are creating in your marriage?

This isn’t a little thing!

The impact that flirting with someone else has on your marriage can be devastating. Here’s what those of you who have experienced this had to say:

  • Broken trust
  • Diminished self confidence
  • Feeling not good enough
  • Questioned the marriage
  • Thought it was harmless and yet it wasn’t

The circumstances of why or when it happened don’t matter. That it happened does. What matters is that the two of you protect your marriage at all costs.

First, it’s important to look at how you are both doing in all 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. If pillars have cracks, if the two of you aren’t paying attention to the marriage or each other, the door is opened to poor decisions.

Remember when you flirt with someone else you are giving attention that needs to be on your marriage to someone else, which means there is less attention to your marriage.

When that becomes a cycle, the disconnect in every pillar of intimacy increases. If you aren’t getting something in your marriage, it’s time to get help, not attention, from other people.

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