733: OH, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE

“If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.” —Lucy Larcom

Winter is approaching. The birds and the bees are nowhere to be seen. It can feel like your sex life is going into hibernation too.

Having less or no sex when it’s cold outside can seem like a minor issue. After all, who wants to get naked when it’s freezing?

But a lack of physical and sexual intimacy can cause resentment to build up without you even realizing it.

There’s a reason tropical vacations can be so exciting for couples. The heat helps you thaw out and relax. You’re already wearing less clothing, so it’s easy to get naked and enjoy frequent sex.

Winter often has the opposite effect. Blankets, hats, and sweats cover every inch of your body. The low temperatures make your muscles tense. Playing footsie with socks on isn’t the same.

Now, the cold can have a positive effect on some couples’ physical and sexual intimacy. Members of the ONE Family shared that cold weather can lead to more snuggling, more foreplay, more time in bed, and more sex. When you’re chilly, your spouse can warm you up!

But for many couples, cold weather introduces new challenges to physical and sexual intimacy.

Sex isn’t pleasurable when you’re shivering. The cold can discourage you from being adventurous and having sex outside your bedroom. You might resort to quickies or have less sex in general.

It’s frustrating to feel like the cold weather limits your physical and sexual connection with your spouse.

Winter is inevitable. Thankfully, there are plenty of easy and practical solutions for sex when it’s cold outside.

Start by looking into solutions that provide extra heat. This could be a space heater, a heated blanket, or a mattress warmer. For improved ambiance, get an electric fireplace or light several candles.

You can also turn your attention to your internal body temperature.

Consider taking a warm shower or bath with your spouse to warm up before sex. If you don’t like the idea of leaving the warm water, stay put and enjoy steamy sex in the shower or bathtub. Another way to conserve body heat during sex is to remain partially clothed.

An obvious solution is to turn on the heat. In the winter, many people try to save money by using less heat. But heat is vital for helping your mind and body relax. You can always turn the heat off again after a couple of hours (and some amazing sex).

One way to set yourselves up for success is by planning ahead. Turn on the heat or set up the space heater in advance, and give yourselves time to get comfortable before sex. This can even be how you initiate!

Ultimately, you can protect your physical and sexual intimacy during the colder months by finding creative strategies that work for you.

As a result, you’ll emerge in the spring glad that you and your spouse spent winter strengthening your physical and sexual intimacy.

Resources

Electric Ceramic Space Heater

Electric Fireplace

Kama Sutra Massage Candle

Electric Heating Pad

Warm Flannel Sheets

Connect with Us

Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. You can also reach us on the Hug Hotline at 858-876-5663 or hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.