“I’ve always wanted to be able to let myself go over the edge.—Robin Wright Penn


Have you assessed your sexual toolbox lately? There might be a great technique that you’re missing out on: edging.

Edging involves sexual stimulation and stopping just before the point of orgasm. It aims to extend sexual enjoyment and can lead to a more intense sexual experience.

Despite all the positive aspects of edging, 63% of the ONE Family has never tried it. It’s time to try something new!

Sometimes it can feel like your sexual intimacy is in a rut. Over time, you learn what works well and what you prefer. You stop putting much thought into it.

But with everything else in marriage, intentionality makes a huge difference.

Edging is a way to be intentional about your sexual arousal.

You might have unintentionally experienced edging before. Right before completion, a child might have knocked on your door or the phone rang. Being forced to stop during a sexual encounter with your spouse can leave you feeling frustrated. But it doesn’t have to feel like this.

You have the power to shift your mindset. When you decide to try edging on purpose—or take advantage of interruptions you can’t control—you can replace frustration with flirtation, romance, and excitement.

Rather than feeling frustrated by edging, you can experience heightened sexual arousal, delayed gratification, and more intense climaxes.

Start by talking with your spouse about edging.

Your emotional intimacy is key in trying new sexual techniques like edging. You and your spouse must be open and honest about what you want to try. If you aren’t on the same page, edging might be more frustrating for one spouse than the other.

Sexual edging can also help you learn more about your body and your spouse’s. When you engage in edging, your focus is on exploring each other. You can try new touches, toys, or techniques to heighten stimulation without the goal of immediate climax. This is an opportunity to vocalize what feels good, what isn’t quite working, and what else you want to try.

How you engage in edging is up to you and your spouse. There’s no right way to do it. Your preferred method might even change depending on the day or your season of life.

The simple formula is to get to the point of orgasm, stop, wait, and then start again.

If you expect interruptions, you might purposefully decide to pause your encounter for a few hours and come back together later. Alternatively, you might plan for you and your spouse to try edging multiple times in the same encounter. It’s up to you.

The pause you take while edging can last from a few minutes to many hours. The point is for you to stop just before the point of completion for heightened arousal.

This might look like engaging in manual stimulation until nearly the point of completion and then switching to kissing or massaging another part of the body. It could look like oral stimulation in the morning but stopping until later in the day. You might get steamy in the bath or shower but then hold off from climaxing for a little while until you get into bed.

These actions keep you in the excitement and plateau stages of arousal just before your climax. As you cycle through these stages, your body becomes more focused on the experience, and you can experience heightened arousal.

If you haven’t experienced these sustained stages before (or in a while), it’s time to try edging!

There’s something about choosing to not quite get there and knowing that you’ll come back to it later that intensifies the arousal. It’s the anticipation that things aren’t over yet. You have something to look forward to.

Anticipation is an incredible aphrodisiac.

Edging is also about being flirty and romantic.

Both in the moments leading to climax and in the pause, you become more intentional about how you interact with one another. You choose words or touches you know will tease or tantalize your spouse. This intentionality helps strengthen your sexual, physical, and emotional intimacy.

Edging is a tool. Like any tool, it will take some time and practice to learn. But your vulnerability and commitment to trying something new can lead to stronger sexual and emotional intimacy.

Take a step outside your comfort zone and try edging. Take note of how it affects the romance and flirtation between you and your spouse. And adjust your mindset to find pleasure in delayed sexual gratification.


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