“A marriage is always made up of two people prepared to swear that only the other one snores.—Terry Pratchett


Has your spouse’s snoring ever woken you up in the middle of the night?

Movies and shows portray it as a comedic scene. One spouse wakes up and does everything they can to quiet their spouse, often without success.

While it’s funny on screen, the real-life snoring scenario is often less amusing and a lot more frustrating.

Since 68% of the ONE Family deal with snoring or sleep apnea in their marriage, it’s time to talk about this.

First, let’s define snoring. According to Mayo Clinic, snoring is the hoarse or harsh sound that occurs when air flows past relaxed tissues in your throat, causing the tissues to vibrate as you breathe.

Whether it happens occasionally or all the time, sleep disruptions like snoring or sleep apnea can put a strain on your marriage.

For many couples, snoring leads to immense fatigue and frustration.

When your spouse’s snoring interrupts your sleep, you can become exhausted. As a result, you might not have the energy to connect with your spouse. Lack of sleep can also lead you to have a shorter fuse or to get irritated more easily.

This frustration causes your emotional intimacy to suffer. And if you’re too tired to spend time together, you miss out on recreational intimacy too.

The snoring may become so intense that one of you sleeps in another room. This makes it difficult to have physical and sexual intimacy. Certain machines or devices can also limit touch between you and your spouse at night.

Ultimately, snoring can impede a couple’s emotional, physical, recreational, and sexual intimacy.

When something has the potential to affect so many of your 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you have to take action.

Thankfully, there are many simple things you can try at home to address snoring. (Please note: if it appears you may have sleep apneastopping and starting breathingseek immediate medical attention.)

For example, if you’re overweight, lose weight. People who are overweight may have extra tissues in the throat that contribute to snoring.

Something else to try is sleeping on your side. When you lie on your back, your tongue can fall backward into your throat, which narrows your airway and can partially obstruct airflow. Changing positions can reduce or alleviate snoring.

Another potential solution is to raise the head of your bed. When you elevate the head of your bed by around four inches, you change the airflow in your throat, which can minimize snoring.

Allergies or a deviated septum can cause snoring, so treat nasal congestion or obstructions. You can also try limiting or avoiding alcohol and sedatives, which can cause excessive relaxation of muscles, including the tissues in your throat.

If you smoke, quit. Smoking cessation may reduce snoring, in addition to having many other health benefits.

Finally, make sure to get enough sleep..

Keep in mind that if you or your spouse is experiencing occasional snoring because of a cold, being overly tired, or even just sleeping in a weird position, you will probably have an easier time resolving the snoring just by changing positions or getting more sleep.

But for some couples, addressing snoring may require time and effort, including getting help from a health professional.

Seeking professional advice can be intimidating. The fear of an adverse health diagnosis, high doctor fees, or having to make changes is real.

But if you don’t take action, you lose out on intimacy with your spouse.

Additionally, not addressing something that affects your spouse hurts the trust between the two of you.

Your spouse wants the best for you. Choosing not to take care of your health despite your spouse’s concerns shows they’re not important enough to you.

When snoring becomes an issue and the two of you are growing disconnected, do not ignore this. Help is readily available.

Whether it’s through a physical exam, a sleep study, an oral appliance, or a CPAP machine, there are solutions.

Find the solutions that work for you and build back your emotional, physical, recreational, and sexual intimacy.

Please note that we are not medical professionals, and this episode is not intended to diagnose or provide any type of medical advice. Please see your medical professional if you have concerns about the health implications of your snoring.


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