“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.—John Wooden

little things

In marriage, it’s the little things that make a big difference.

But the little things rarely make it into a social media post. You’re more likely to see pictures of romantic getaways, fun dates, and grand gestures.

It becomes easy to forget the power of little actions done consistently.

Whether you feel too busy to do the little things or don’t know where to start, the ONE Family has insight and ideas so you can stop making excuses and start seeing changes in your marriage.

Because ultimately, it’s the little things that either build up or tear down your marriage.

So what will you focus on?

It’s easy to get sucked into negativity, so take a moment to acknowledge what your spouse does that makes you feel close and connected (in other words, intimate). When you focus on the positive, you can strengthen your intimacy with your spouse.

Next, be mindful of the little things you can do to build connections with your spouse.

One of the most important aspects of deepening intimacy is consistency. This doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing every day (although if that is meaningful to your spouse, go for it!), but be consistent about doing things that touch your spouse’s heart.

Little actions create big connections. They show your spouse you love and prioritize them. It’s a way to demonstrate you know what is meaningful to your spouse or makes them happy.

And when you are both doing little things for each other, everything changes.

Get out of the mindset that your spouse should do little things for you just because you’re married. Instead, be appreciative and acknowledge the little things your spouse does, and reciprocate that effort too.

Imagine what would shift in your marriage if this was the regular atmosphere. 

You may be thinking, “This all sounds nice, but I don’t have the time.” If that’s the case, you have to make the time.

Busyness is not a valid excuse. You can choose to find the time. Prioritize doing the little things that create a deep connection with your spouse.

Marriage is a give-and-take relationship, so you both need to put in the effort to strengthen your 6 Pillars of Intimacy®.

There are countless little things that can mean the world to your spouse.

For example, leave sweet notes around the house, go on a walk together without the kids, or help trim their hair.

These things will hold the two of you together when life gets hard, not just the picture-worthy moments.

Simple actions—like sending an “I love you” text, deciding what you’ll eat for dinner, or sending your spouse off to work with a kiss—can transform your relationship.

Before you can do the little things, you have to know what is meaningful to your spouse.

If you have cracks in your Emotional Intimacy Pillar, you might not know what makes your spouse feel loved.

So talk to them! Ask what is going on at work. Discover what they’re learning in this season of life.

A great resource to guide you through these conversations is The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Book + Workbook Bundle.

To build intimacy with your spouse, you need to know what matters to them. It’s probably not anything earth-shattering or time-consuming, yet it can mean the world.

You can create the extraordinary marriage you desire by serving one another and showing up for your spouse in the little things.


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Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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