“Life is too short to wear boring underwear.—Anonymous

underwear drawer

Your underwear drawer might impact your marriage more than you think.

Often, underwear is considered little more than a functional article of clothing. But it can also be a tool that promotes connection between the two of you. Because when you look good and feel good, the entire dynamic between you and your spouse can shift.

It’s time to assess what’s in your underwear drawer.

First, understand that what you wear under your clothes matters. You know what you’re wearing every day, and your spouse is the only other one who gets to see it.

As with anything in marriage, intentionality goes a long way, even for little things like this. While boxers, panties, and bras are functional items, that’s not their only purpose.

Underwear is an opportunity to express yourself, get into a flirty or romantic mindset, and set the stage for what’s coming.

Sometimes, putting on sexy underwear leads to sexual intimacy. Seeing your spouse wear something attractive is stimulating.

The right set of boxers or panties can be your way of initiating sex with your spouse. Alternatively, an old or holey pair of underwear might be a turnoff.

Sexy underwear can also affect your mental state by boosting your self-confidence and body image. Without a doubt, this can have a positive influence on your relationship, including your sex life.

When you wear something that makes you feel good about yourself, you carry that confidence throughout the day.

The underwear you choose can also be something you and your spouse think about throughout the day. If you’re keeping it a surprise, you become more and more excited about sharing your choice with them. Or if they know what you’re wearing, it can be something you reference all day long, which also builds anticipation.

However, the contents of your underwear drawer can lead to more than sex.

For example, talking together about your underwear preferences can strengthen your emotional intimacy. Share what colors or materials you like seeing your spouse wear. Perhaps you could even pick out a matching set for both of you—just for fun!

It can make you feel loved to know that your spouse is wearing something they know you’ll like. Putting a little extra effort into part of your appearance that only your spouse will see goes a long way.

There are three steps to creating change in your marriage through your underwear drawer.

First, take stock of what you have. Go through your drawers and get rid of any ragged or ill-fitting boxers, panties, or bras. Better yet, do this together. Provide input on which of your spouse’s pieces you love.

Second, replace the old underwear with new stuff. If your spouse doesn’t want to do this for themselves, spoil them with a few new pieces. You can gift them sexy underwear for a birthday or holiday or spread it out during the year.

If there’s a sale, look through the options with your spouse and discuss which ones look most exciting. Or get your spouse a gift card to their favorite store. This way, they can shop and surprise you.

Finally, don’t save your sexy underwear for special occasions. Break it out of the underwear drawer often! Since you know what your spouse likes to see, you can consciously decide to wear something that brings you closer together, both emotionally and sexually.

Don’t let preventable things like old underwear, busy schedules, or stress wreck your sex life.

Ultimately, sexy underwear is another tool in your marriage toolbox. Often, the simplest things in marriage make the greatest impact, so don’t overlook the power of your underwear drawer.


166: Holey Underwear

Sexy Underwear For Him & For Her


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