761: YOU’RE NOT WEARING YOUR WEDDING RING

“With this ring, I thee wed…“

At your wedding, you and your spouse exchanged vows and rings.

Rings symbolized the commitment you were making, and you may have said the words, “With this ring, I thee wed.” The rings also show others you are married.

However, for many couples, there are times when one (or both) of the spouses doesn’t wear their wedding ring.

Whether or not this situation has come up in your marriage, it’s important to talk about how taking off your wedding band makes your spouse feel and find a solution to make you both feel confident in your choices.

Recently, the ONE Family shared responses to the question, “Does your spouse ever not wear their ring?” The result was nearly half and half, with 48% of the ONE Family saying, “Yes.”

That’s a lot of couples where someone is not wearing their wedding ring, whether all the time or every once in a while.

There are lots of reasons you might remove your wedding ring. For many people, the material of the band might be uncomfortable. The ring may cause skin irritation.

You may do something with your hands that requires you to remove your ring. For example, when cleaning with harsh chemicals, rock climbing, or handling power tools, you might need to take off your ring to protect it or yourself.

Other reasons for not wearing a wedding ring include pregnancy, swollen joints, or not wanting to lose it. Alternatively, your ring might not be the correct size or may have broken.

But there’s another glaring reason someone might take a ring off. A lack of a ring can sometimes indicate challenges a couple is facing in their marriage.

A wedding ring is an outward expression of marriage. While there are many ways to express your commitment to your spouse, it’s essential to come to a clear understanding if one of you decides not to wear a ring.

The act of taking off your wedding ring will affect your spouse, so you should involve them in a conversation about this decision.

Remember, even seemingly small actions can create cracks. You need to address this issue as a couple. It’s an opportunity to deepen your emotional intimacy, which strengthens all of your 6 Pillars of Intimacy®.

When one of you doesn’t wear your wedding ring, it can cause the other to feel rejected or unimportant. Some members of the ONE Family report feeling sad, insecure, or uncomfortable when their spouse doesn’t wear their ring.

On the other hand, you and your spouse might not have any objection to taking off your rings. You may feel that the trust between you is neither lessened nor heightened by wearing a ring.

How does your spouse feel about it? Does removing your wedding ring make your spouse feel disconnected and distant? Or perhaps it doesn’t bother them at all.

If you haven’t had this conversation before, you won’t know the answer. Don’t guess!

Talk to your spouse this week about the emotions you each feel when the other person removes their wedding ring. What are the reasons behind doing so? Is it necessary, or does it lead to cracks in your intimacy?

If the material of your ring is uncomfortable or unsafe, consider purchasing an affordable silicon band. Some couples even get tattoos on their ring finger.

How you approach this situation depends on what works best for you. But don’t assume that your spouse is okay with you not wearing your wedding ring. Build your emotional intimacy around this topic and find an approach that feels like a win-win for both of you.

If you or your spouse have removed your wedding ring because of challenges in your marriage, you’re not alone. We faced this early in our marriage. Don’t let the action of taking off a ring go unnoticed. If you need personal help to improve your marriage, apply for marriage coaching today.

Resources

Silicone Wedding Bands for Him & for Her

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Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.