“I remember our first date, first kiss and the first time you said I love you.—Anonymous

first date

Your first date holds incredible significance to your relationship. 

At the time, you likely didn’t even know this was the person you would marry. Yet it was the start of a lifelong love story between you two. 

So the memories from your first date are some of the most powerful in your relationship. How you honor, remember, and incorporate those emotions in the present can deepen your intimacy as a couple. 

Pause for a moment and reminisce on your first date with your spouse. What did you do? Where did you go? 

Whether it was an official or unofficial date, a blind date, a date set up by friends, or another situation, your first date is a significant milestone that holds priceless memories for the two of you.

Perhaps it took place decades ago or happened in recent years. The details aren’t necessarily important. In fact, over time, you may forget the exact location or day. But you can remember the feelings you experienced. 

Taking a walk down memory lane with your spouse is one of the best ways to build emotional and recreational intimacy in your marriage. 

Emotional intimacy is the workhorse of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. When it’s strong, you can work through issues as a team, create new memories, experience deep connection, and keep your marriage strong. 

So if reminiscing about the beginning of your relationship can strengthen your emotional intimacy, why wait? Talk tonight about your first date and share those memories with each other. 

Focus on the emotions, the atmosphere, and the energy. 

When asked about the feelings they remember from their first date, couples in the ONE Family shared things such as excitement, desire, nervousness, and happiness. Others remember feeling safe, cared for, natural, or smitten. 

It’s important to revisit these memories and emotions so you can bring them into the present. Additionally, these conversations can be a way to bridge any gaps you might feel in your emotional intimacy and help bring you back to a place of connection. 

Your first date didn’t have to be an elaborate event for it to mean a lot to you. A simple meet-up could leave you with moments to cherish for years to come. 

Among the ONE Family, there were plenty of memorable first dates, ranging from rollerskating or getting coffee to going on a double date or bowling. 

One couple shared they had their first date when they were 15 and 16 years old. They saw Peter Pan in the movie theater and got chocolate pie afterward. Then, on their wedding day, the wife gave her husband a keepsake copy of the book Peter Pan as a wedding gift. And when they had children, their babies’ nursery had a Peter Pan theme. 

The impact of their first date can be seen throughout this couple’s marriage. And it’s a beautiful illustration of how those first moments together can hold meaning no matter what you are going through now. 

But don’t let the memories stay in the past. Bring the magic into the present. 

Go on a date together to recreate feelings from the past. Be intentional about making your spouse feel excited, smitten, or cared for. If you can, recreate your first date by going to the same place, doing the same thing, or wearing the same clothes. These actions boost your recreational intimacy. 

During your conversations, be as curious as you were on your first date when you were getting to know each other. Let sparks fly by holding hands, kissing, laughing, and talking deeply. Wear something special or take time getting ready for your spouse. 

One of the most important parts of your love story is the first date, so take time to celebrate it together.


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