“The shower is where we get to wash away the day’s worries and embrace each other.—Anonymous

showering together

Showering together is a simple way to deepen your intimacy with your spouse.

You can strengthen physical intimacy through loving touches and build emotional intimacy through deep conversations.

Yet among the ONE Family, showering together as spouses isn’t a common occurrence. In fact, over 70% of you never shower together.

There are plenty of reasons you might feel showering together isn’t feasible. But with 29% of couples showering together at least once a week (and many who swear by it!), you could be overlooking some of the marriage-changing benefits of this activity.

It’s possible showering together is hardly on your radar. Perhaps your parents never showered together, so you’re not used to the idea.

Or for you, your only bit of alone time might come when you are in the shower, especially if you have kids at home.

There are plenty of other reasons you might not be showering together.

You might prefer different temperatures. Your shower may feel too small. Height differences can make it challenging. Maybe you like to shower at different times.

For each of these reasons, many couples have discovered solutions to make showering together possible.

For example, your small shower might be a secret advantage because it keeps the two of you close together. As a result, you’re sharing more non-sexual touches and building physical intimacy.

If children or other distractions often pull you away from your spouse, a shower together provides intentional time alone with each other. It can be a moment to turn off parent mode and reconnect as spouses.

You might be hesitant to shower together because you think it will always lead to sex.

Although showering together can sometimes lead to sexual intimacy, it has even greater potential to consistently build your physical and emotional intimacy.

Through sweet caresses, slippery touches, and wet kisses, the two of you build physical intimacy, which differs from sexual intimacy but is equally important.

Without distractions, you can be fully present with your spouse. Enjoy those uninterrupted conversations! This also helps build emotional intimacy.

On top of that, being naked with your spouse signifies vulnerability. It creates an environment to connect and be open with each other.

Now, if you aren’t currently showering together, you don’t have to start doing this every day.

Start with once a week.

Hop into the shower together for a few minutes to wash off the day and spend time alone. Or if one of you is showering, invite the other to join you!

You can also try new things to make it a fun and enjoyable time together. For example, purchase a special soap, dim the lights, or put on some music. When you make it fun, it strengthens your recreational intimacy, too.

And if you want to both be under the water, install a dual shower head.

There are lots of creative ways you can overcome the common objections to showering together.

As a result, you can strengthen your marriage in four distinct areas: physical, emotional, recreational, and sexual intimacy—often in that order.

Showering together does not always have to lead to sex. In fact, many couples report that showering together is a special time to be naked without expectations of sexual intimacy.

And if being naked in front of your spouse is something you don’t feel comfortable with, showering together can be a good first step to gaining confidence.

The touch and togetherness of showering together have countless benefits for your marriage, from strengthening physical intimacy to deepening emotional intimacy and beyond.

If you’re part of the 71% of couples in the ONE Family who never partake in this activity, give it a shot this week. And if this is part of your routine, keep it up!

Routines like these are built over time with consistent and intentional action. So add this to your marriage toolbox as a way to help your marriage thrive.


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