778: INTENTIONAL GRATITUDE

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” —Eckhart Tolle

You and your spouse have the power to cultivate intentional gratitude in your marriage with a few simple actions. 

Being intentional about expressing gratitude to your spouse has countless benefits. For example, it can boost your self-confidence, deepen your connection, and improve physiological health for both of you. 

Gratitude might come easy on days like Thanksgiving, anniversaries, or birthdays. But what would shift in your marriage if gratitude wasn’t reserved for four days a year? 

You can make an intentional choice to express gratitude and change your marriage for the better. 

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines gratitude as the state of being grateful, which means to be appreciative of benefits you receive. To express gratitude, you first have to be aware of the things worth being thankful for. 

In marriage, it’s easy to go through the motions and become complacent about what you and your spouse do for each other. As a result, you might take important things for granted. 

Gratitude keeps you focused on the blessings in your life. You can decide to view your spouse and marriage through a lens of gratitude.  

From little things to grand gestures, you can’t appreciate something you’re not acknowledging. 

It could be as simple as your spouse making the bed or getting your coffee ready in the morning. You can also be grateful for bigger things like a fun date night, great sex, or a deep conversation that helped you reconnect. 

Intentional gratitude is the choice to see your blessings and be grateful for them. 

But gratitude also takes things a step further. Instead of just seeing your blessings, you need to express your gratitude. 

While you might wish your spouse had ESP and could simply sense when you are grateful for them and what they do, that’s never the case. Use your words, whether written or verbal, and express your gratitude to your spouse. 

Your words can have a huge impact on your spouse. Members of the ONE Family shared that they feel noticed, seen, and appreciated when their spouse expresses gratitude. It makes them want to do more of what their spouse appreciates. 

Gratitude is no small thing! In fact, couples who express gratitude can expect a better relationship, better health, and a more positive outlook on life in general. 

Ultimately, you need to make two choices if you want to cultivate intentional gratitude in your marriage. 

First, look for the blessings. Throughout the day or before you go to sleep, pinpoint specific things about your spouse or marriage that you are grateful for. 

Then, write what you are grateful for in the free Gratitude Planner, a small notebook, or your phone’s note app. Keep these reminders in a space you can look back at. 

Next, begin writing down notes of appreciation for your spouse. Your words have power. As you become intentional with your gratitude, you can change the atmosphere of your marriage. 

You should also be intentional about accepting gratitude from your spouse. Don’t minimize your spouse’s appreciation. Instead, acknowledge and accept it.

Don’t leave gratitude to chance. Make it a habit with the Gratitude Planner. 

When you cultivate intentional gratitude throughout the year, you’ll experience a powerful change in your marriage. 

Resources

One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book

FREE Gratitude Planner

Connect with Us

Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.