“The greatest gifts are not wrapped in paper, rather they are wrapped in love.—Anonymous


The stockings are hung by the chimney with care. Packages are wrapped with ribbons and bows. But what if your spouse’s favorite present wasn’t something you could place beneath the tree?

Instead, this year, your spouse’s favorite present could be your presence.

Think about the most special present you have received. You might not even remember the gift, but you can remember the emotions. In that moment, you felt seen, heard, and known.

Imagine how extraordinary your marriage would be if you created those moments for your spouse every day through simple actions.

Because it likely wasn’t a gift that made you fall in love with your spouse (or them with you); it was who they are and how they showed up in your relationship.

So, what does it look like to become your spouse’s favorite present this year?

It starts with intentionality.

That’s what made all your favorite presents so special, right? Those gifts required thoughtfulness and creativity from the giver. And they made you feel like a priority. 

Ultimately, you might need to make some internal shifts to show up as your spouse’s favorite gift. 

Begin by asking yourself, “What can I do? Consider the actions you can take to create memorable moments your spouse will cherish.

For example, put your phone down when you and your spouse talk. Make an effort to reach out and hold their hand as you walk from place to place. Do activities they enjoy simply because they love it. 

Becoming your spouse’s favorite present is not about what you can give them; it’s about how you’ll show up and prioritize them. 

So there’s no need to stress about the presents you’ll get them as long as you focus on the presence you’ll give them. 

You can use The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® as a guide to determine where you’ll start. 

For instance, you can strengthen your emotional intimacy by initiating the conversations you know need to happen but have been avoiding. 

To build physical intimacy, touch your spouse in the ways they like, whether hugging more, kissing before bed, or simply cuddling up on the same couch. 

When it comes to your financial intimacy, work together to plan the goals you want to achieve. 

Or take action with your spiritual intimacy. Pray with and for each other, read a devotional, or go to church together. 

Within your recreational intimacy, take turns planning dates each month so the duty doesn’t fall on just one of you. Split up the months, add date night to the calendar, and have fun together! 

You can create special moments of connection that your spouse will cherish by making sexual intimacy a priority instead of an afterthought. 

Don’t get so wrapped up in trying to find the perfect gift for your spouse when their favorite present might be something you never considered: you. 

With effort and intentionality, you can create moments that your spouse will love this Christmas—and all year long. 


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