“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.—Martin Luther King Jr.

countdown to connection

It’s the season of resolutions and goal setting. You probably know what things you want to leave in the past and what you want to continue doing in the future.

But until you have a clear vision and a plan to take action, it’s difficult to make changes happen, especially in your marriage. 

The 3-2-1 Countdown to Connection can help you shift your focus and embrace deeper intimacy. It’s a guide that combines statements and actions so you can experience the extraordinary marriage you’ve been wanting. 

Right now, the future feels like a clean slate—a fresh start. You likely want to maximize the motivation of a new month or year by deciding the changes you’ll make. But saying you want change is one thing. Taking action to make change is entirely different. 

For example, it’s one thing to say you want deeper intimacy with your spouse. It’s another thing to put time on your calendar for a walk-and-talk. 

Or it’s one thing to say you want to spend more time with your spouse, and it’s another thing to plan a weekly date night. 

Deeper intimacy does not just happen. You have to make it happen! And the start of a new year is a great time to get started. 

You’re not alone if you feel like there are areas of your marriage that need more attention and intention. 

We recently asked the ONE Family which of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® you want to focus on first in the new year. Guess what? Every single pillar was mentioned. 

Whether emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, recreational, or sexual intimacy, the first step is to identify the pillar that you want to focus on. It’s also important to know why you want to focus on that pillar. 

Some couples want to strengthen a pillar because it’s important to their spouse, they’ve grown distant, or they have been slacking off in that area. For others, they want to strengthen a pillar because it causes stress or they haven’t worked on it recently. 

But once you know which pillar you need to work on and why you need to work on it, you have to be international with that knowledge and take action. 

To begin, write down the one Pillar of Intimacy that is your focus. This keeps you from getting distracted by trying to fix too many things at once. 

Start with one pillar, get some wins under your belt, and then do more. 

Now, it’s time to do the 3-2-1 Countdown to Connection. 

3! Ask yourself: What are three actions that I can take to build connection?

The ONE Family had plenty of ideas to share, such as spending less, praying together, planning more adventures, prioritizing sex, putting dates on the calendar, and choosing to connect. Find actions that are specific to the Pillar of Intimacy you want to improve.

2! Ask yourself: What are two statements I can make about my marriage or my spouse? 

The words you speak have power over yourself and your spouse. So, be intentional about the words you choose to speak. For example, try using statements like “I love it when you…” or “We are being intentional…”. 

1! Ask yourself: What is one “I am” statement I can make about myself? 

Identify one “I am” statement that you can say to speak life over yourself, even on hard days. You can write it down each night, say it in the mirror, or put it in your car as a constant reminder. 

Consider some of the following “I am” statements: 

  • I am choosing to engage with my spouse.
  • I am a spouse who is fully present in conversations.
  • I am making time with my spouse a priority.
  • I am choosing to initiate (sex, prayer, conversations, dates—fill in the blank!) 
  • I am curious about my spouse.

This 3-2-1 Countdown is a great way to embrace connection and get focused on the areas you want to improve in your marriage. You’ll gain confidence as you make progress, which will motivate you to pursue growth in other areas, too. 

Whether you’re counting down to a new year, a new month, or a new season of intentionality in your marriage, try out the 3-2-1 Countdown to Connection and see what happens. 


The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Monthly Planner

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784: The Right Questions For Deeper Sexual Intimacy

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In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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