“When you feel stuck in life, remember that every obstacle is an opportunity to grow and learn.—Anonymous

feel stuck

At the beginning of your relationship, everything is new and fun. But after some time has passed, you look at your marriage and feel… stuck. 

You might feel like you and your spouse are stuck in old habits. You might feel like things are never going to change. The words “Is this as good as it gets?” ring in your ears. 

All of this leaves you feeling hopeless. 

But the truth is that, in marriage, you can often allow patterns to develop that don’t promote closeness or connection (in other words, intimacy). And when those patterns go unchecked, it leaves you feeling stuck in a rut. 

The beauty is that this doesn’t have to be a permanent condition. You can get unstuck—as long as you’re willing to break some patterns that are keeping you there. 

For example, here’s what some of those negative patterns might look like in your marriage: 

  • Instead of cuddling up beside each other on the couch, you spend your leisure time on different couches or in two separate rooms. 
  • The two of you experience dysfunctional conflict cycles that don’t result in any solutions or compromises. 
  • Your phone addiction ruins many opportunities to talk with each other and deepen your emotional intimacy. 
  • You find yourselves in a sexual rut, but neither of you has searched for solutions. 
  • Challenges with your career, finances, or the economy lead to cracks in your financial intimacy that you don’t address. 
  • As you raise young kids, you dismiss date nights and put your marriage on the back burner. 

These examples come straight from the ONE Family, so they’re real and relevant. Too often, these patterns go unchecked. 

As a result, you feel more disconnected and less in love with one another. You ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”

But instead of believing there’s nothing you can do about feeling stuck, you have to ask yourself a pivotal question: “What can I do?” 

Don’t fall for the myth that getting unstuck requires massive leaps and bounds from Day One. Instead, it’s the little things you do consistently that make a difference in the long run. 

That might look like putting down your phone to connect with your spouse. Similarly, you might need to set healthy boundaries, develop communication skills, or improve your physical or mental health.

You might decide to seek counseling or marriage coaching to deal with past issues. If you’re a wife, you may consider joining an encouraging community like The BOLD Wives Club

Ultimately, small decisions can build up to big changes. 

But you won’t change anything simply by wishing for things to change. (You’ve probably already tried that…) You have to actually take action for things to change. 

So make a choice today to get yourself—and your marriage—unstuck. It all starts with a single step. 


The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale

The Connection Codes

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