“Sometimes the best things in life take time.—Anonymous


Many wives worry about how long it takes for them to orgasm.

In movies, sex scenes last only a few minutes. Yet it typically takes women 15-20 minutes of constant stimulation to orgasm. 

When you have this disconnect between expectation and reality, it becomes frustrating. 

You might feel shame or guilt that you take a while to climax. 

It’s time to address what’s going on in your head and explore how you can enjoy your sexual intimacy journey again as husband and wife. 

First, recognize that you’re not alone if you feel like it’s taking too long to orgasm—whether you’re a husband or a wife. 

There are various times, reasons, or seasons when it can be hard for one of you to experience an orgasm. 

Second, there are often many questions behind the issue of taking a long time to orgasm.  

For example, who are you comparing yourself with? What’s your knowledge of male and female anatomy? What emotions do you feel about this situation? 

Especially for women, it’s easy to get so much in your head around this challenge. 

Media and pornography make it seem like everyone can orgasm on demand. Of course, those scenarios are fake and distorted. 

Your body and arousal system are so much more complex! 

And the more you know about what goes into orgasms, the more you can enjoy the journey and deepen your sexual intimacy. 

Consider picking up some books, such as The Vagina BibleThe Penis BookShe Comes First, and Come As You Are. Learn about the process of orgasming from a physiological standpoint, as well as the mental side of things

You also need to talk with your spouse about what you are experiencing. They can’t read your mind, under the sheets or otherwise. Communicate during sex about what feels good or what you want. 

If you often feel like it’s taking too long to orgasm, have a conversation outside the bedroom. Come up with a plan that works for both of you. 

For example, you might need to place more emphasis on foreplay. Or you might need to try out different positions or products. 

Most of all, you need to release yourself from the pressure to orgasm quickly all the time. 

Your body was intricately designed. It’s different from your spouse’s.

The sexual intimacy you experience as a couple doesn’t hinge on how fast or slow you orgasm. Instead, it’s a journey. You get to discover what makes sex great for both of you. 

Remember, emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy are connected. When you practice talking about these things, you can experience a deeper sexual connection. 

Ultimately, women typically take longer to orgasm than men. So, it’s okay to release feelings of guilt, stress, or pressure. 

There are enough things in your life that have deadlines or time constraints—your orgasms don’t have to be one of them! So let yourself enjoy the experience. 

Want to be the first to know about the next Sexually Confident Wife Training? Join the waitlist here so you can break free of the challenges robbing your confidence!


6-Day Intimacy Breakthrough Course

The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina

The Penis Book: A Doctor’s Complete Guide to the Penis

She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

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