817: MOVING AND MARRIAGE

“Dare to be brave. Move out of your old house and leave everything behind to start anew. You’ll be surprised at the great things that life will have in store for you.” —Anonymous

Moving is an emotional roller coaster. Whether you’re moving across the country or just down the road, the experience will affect your marriage. 

There’s a reason moving ranks as a top stressor in people’s lives, not to mention your relationship. 

Amid packing, donating, deadlines, and all the changes happening, how can you stay close and connected? 

Awareness is the first step to keeping your 6 Pillars of Intimacy® strong throughout the process. But taking action makes the difference. 

Packing up a home filled with memories to start fresh somewhere new is a bittersweet experience. 

On the one hand, it’s incredibly stressful. You’re spending your days packing, purging, selling, or donating things. There’s a running list of tasks to do and services to cancel. On top of all that, the two of you are dealing with the grief and emotions that come with a move. 

On the other hand, moving can be exciting. For example, you can look forward to meeting new friends, making new memories, and beginning a new chapter. 

A move affects your whole life, which means it will affect your marriage. 

Looking at The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® is a great way to assess the impact of a move on your relationship. For example, do your conversations revolve around the move? Do you feel like you’re constantly running around with no time to connect physically? 

Moving is expensive, so the costs might weigh on you. Your faith gets tested in new ways during a move. The time you spend together might not feel like quality time. 

When it comes to your sexual intimacy, it might increase since it’s a way to reconnect—or it might fall off the radar completely because you’re so disconnected. 

So, how can you stay close and connected throughout the moving process? The ONE Family has some ideas! 

First, have lots of conversations about your expectations.

You each have fears, hopes, and ideas about what this move will look like. Don’t assume your spouse knows what you’re thinking or feeling. Instead, ask questions. How will you split up tasks? How can you support each other emotionally? 

If you’re following the Intimacy Lifestyle, discuss what you both need sexually and what adjustments you might need to make. 

Undoubtedly, things will come up that derail your plans, so remember to stay flexible and communicate. 

Next, give your spouse a lot of grace during this transition. Even if you are both excited about the move, grief is involved. 

You can engage your physical intimacy by giving a hug or kiss to help bring your bodies back into emotional regulation. Also, you can pray for each other, the move, and your new home to strengthen your spiritual intimacy. 

Finally, accept that your spouse will do things differently throughout this move. 

Even when you’re in agreement on making the move, how you process what you do and handle the stress of moving will be different. There might be many moments where you think, “I don’t get you!” If things are too much for the two of you to handle, consider hiring movers or asking for help. 

Remember that you are two different people. Focus on the outcomes and prioritize emotional intimacy. 

Moving might place a strain on your marriage, but you can take action to stay close and connected despite the chaos. At the end of the day, look to your spouse and remember the grand new adventure you get to embark on together.

Resources

The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Virtual Seminar

Connect with Us

Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.