821: MENOPAUSE MEETS MARRIAGE

“A problem shared is a problem halved but as with so many problems affecting women: periods, menopause, postpartum depression, we often feel embarrassed as if we’re moaning or just plain wrong to air them.” —Konnie Huq

Menopause doesn’t just affect the woman going through it. Menopause also impacts the marriage. 

The physical changes alone can wreak havoc in a woman’s life—not to mention the emotional and relationship changes. By extension, menopause shifts things for the husband and the marriage dynamic. 

Anything that affects you will affect your marriage. Menopause is no different. The only problem is that most couples don’t know how to talk about these changes. 

In recent years, there have been more conversations about periods and postpartum depression. However, menopause still gets the silent treatment; people treat it as taboo. As a result, many women in their 40s and 50s feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk about their experiences.  

On the one hand, there are all the ways menopause impacts you as a woman:

• Insomnia
• Negative thoughts
• Night sweats
• Weight gain
• Low libido

On the other hand, there are all the ways menopause impacts your marriage.

For instance, many women don’t always recognize the perimenopause symptoms, which means they don’t know how to communicate what’s happening to them to their husbands. You might feel like your marriage is stuck in roommate syndrome. Sexual intimacy may look or feel different. 

Ultimately, every woman is different. Perimenopause can last anywhere from a few months to 10 years. During that time, you might experience mild symptoms, intense symptoms, or very few symptoms at all. 

But knowing how to communicate with each other when menopause meets marriage is crucial.

So here are four important things to keep in mind as you navigate menopause in your marriage. 

First, acknowledge that it’s going to happen. Menopause is inevitable. It’s like death and taxes, except only for women. 

Second, both of you need to understand what happens to your bodies as you age. If you don’t have the vocabulary to discuss these changes, it will be hard to connect emotionally. 

For example, pick up books like The Vagina Bible or The Penis Book to get the conversation started—as soon as possible. 

Next, recognize that menopause doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It often happens when your kids are growing up and your parents are aging. 

The emotional upheaval is real—and your changing hormones intensify it further. 

Finally, make a plan for your menopause journey. Dealing with menopause without support or resources can create disconnection in your marriage. 

Find a tribe of women where you can have these honest conversations. When you’re in a supportive community, you can learn what’s working for others and get ideas to help you navigate the changes happening to your body, identity, and relationships. 

Remember, when menopause meets marriage, it’s not the end. Instead, this is a new chapter that you can walk through as a team. With the right information, support, and communication, your marriage can be as strong as ever.

Resources

Menopause Shouldn’t Suck Group Coaching Program

The BOLD Wives Club

Uberlube

790: The Greatest Threat to Our Marriage is Apathy

The Vagina Bible

The Penis Book

Connect with Us

Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.