822: MAKING COUPLE FRIENDSHIPS TOGETHER
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” —Greg Tamblyn
Among the ONE Family, 51% of you don’t have couple friendships where you can be honest, open, and vulnerable.
Being friends with other couples isn’t a requirement for an extraordinary marriage. However, if that’s something you want, it’s worth investing the time and energy to make it a reality.
Couple friendships bring another level of support to your pursuit of an extraordinary marriage. When you find couples with a similar desire to do marriage well, you can learn new skills and gain fresh perspectives to strengthen your own relationship.
But as you already know, making friends doesn’t just happen. It takes time and intentionality.
Couples in the ONE Family have formed couple friendships by:
- Inviting another couple over for weekly dinners
- Joining a small group or Bible study
- Maintaining high school or college friendships—and including the spouses
- Planning vacations together
- Attending marriage events
- Pushing through awkward conversations
Vulnerability is one of the secret ingredients for making couple friends.
In today’s day and age, everyone craves authenticity and honesty, especially when it comes to marriage. Be willing to go deeper than surface-level conversations and get real with others.
Of course, there are many reasons why you might struggle to make couple friends:
- Finding other couples with the same values and boundaries is hard.
- You’re busy with work and family life.
- You might not click with both spouses.
- The two of you move a lot or live in a transient city.
Again, not having couple friendships doesn’t mean you can’t experience an extraordinary marriage. But if having couple friendships is something you want, there are some things to consider.
First, recognize that making couple friendships takes time. Just like with any of your personal friendships, you need to spend time getting to know other couples.
Whether you go on trips together, participate in the same activities, or serve in the same sphere, you need to invest time into your friendships for them to become strong and genuine.
Another thing to remember is that not every couple friendship is the right fit for your current season of life. Some couple friendships work well when you have young kids; other couple friends might not come along until you are empty nesters.
While some couple friendships might last decades, others may come and go. It’s completely normal, so don’t let that hold you back from forming friendships with others.
Above all else, don’t be afraid to go first.
Say hello. Plan an activity. Open up about your life. So many people are waiting for others to take the first step toward friendship. Be the one that goes first.
Couple friendships can be a source of encouragement and connection in an otherwise isolating world. If this is something you want, keep reaching out and putting in the effort. The results will be worth it.
Resources
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Weekend
Connect with Us
Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.
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