825: WORKING TOGETHER ISN’T ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE
“If every couple quit when marriage got hard 100% of couples would be divorced. Challenges in your marriage are an opportunity to work together; not an excuse to give up on each other.” —Dave Willis
Spending time with your spouse is necessary for a happy and strong marriage. But what about when you’re spending all of your time together? For couples who are working together, this is a common marriage challenge.
Maybe you both work at the same company or run a business together. You might both be working from home or even enjoying retirement together. There are lots of ups and downs when you’re spending so much time together.
It’s not just a good idea to know how to navigate this situation; it’s vital.
Without boundaries or healthy habits, you can fall into a dysfunctional dynamic where you only feel like co-workers, have nothing to talk about, and miss out on the beautiful benefits of marriage.
One couple reached out to describe their current situation. Maybe you can relate to this…
Because they work together, there’s little to no excitement to reconnect at the end of the day. It feels like they have nothing new to talk about. Plus, it’s hard to switch from business partners to loving spouses.
Other couples in the ONE Family shared similar experiences when it comes to working together. It’s hard to have a work-life balance. The lines become blurry about what conversations are professional versus personal. In fact, many couples struggle to switch gears at all, meaning their emotional and sexual intimacy suffers.
On top of that, couples working together often struggle to leave work frustrations at work. They might be too tired after work to connect or want to veg out on their devices. All of this can lead to disconnection and disappointment.
The truth is that these are difficulties that so many couples face in their marriage, whether they work together or not. You might even experience some of the challenges above after spending a few hours with your spouse.
So the issue might not be that the two of you are working together. Instead, the problem might be how intentional you’re choosing to be in your marriage when this is your situation.
Because yes, working together can be hard. But it also has so many benefits!
At the end of the day, it comes down to both of you taking responsibility and engaging with each other.
For example, what transition routines can you create to separate work time from couple time? What rules or guidelines can you implement around technology and communication?
Also, you can’t forget to date each other. Differentiate your dates from business meetings. Pay attention to your tone and topics of conversation.
Finally, it’s important to take time for yourselves and develop interests outside of one another. When you engage in hobbies and other friendships, you can continue to have new things to share with your spouse.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but there’s nothing that says you can’t experience that same fondness if you work together! It all comes down to the conversations you’ll have about what is working and what’s not.
When the two of you have this conversation, consider all of your 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. This framework can help you identify which pillars are strong and which need some TLC during your season of working together.
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