830: PILLOWS, WEDGES, AND A FRESH TAKE ON SEXUAL INTIMACY

“Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul.” —Anonymous

What if there was a simple yet effective way to add more variety and comfort to your sex life? With pillows and wedges, there is! 

We know couples avoid trying new things for many reasons. Routines suck you in. You become lazy or comfortable with your current approach. Maybe you’re worried that suggesting something new will make your spouse feel like they’re not doing enough. 

So you fall into a rhythm. You can probably think about your go-to positions, where you are on the bed, and how the experience plays out. 

It works, so you keep doing it.

But what if things changed—ever so slightly? 

What if a little variety made the experience different? Not better—just different. 

What if trying something new changed the visual dynamic between the two of you? 

What if it changed your physical experience and offered new sensations? 

Adding a simple tool like a pillow or wedge can do exactly that. And with more comfortable angles, you can focus more on your spouse and deepen your closeness and connection. 

Over half of the ONE Family (51%) have used pillows or wedges to change up their sexual positions. 

Those of you who have tried this out shared several ways that it has changed your sexual intimacy, from helping with back problems and minimizing strain to supporting your body so positions are more comfortable. 

You also shared that pillows and wedges allow for deeper penetration and increased sensitivity. 

Of course, the remaining 49% of the ONE Family has not tried this strategy. 

Some of you say bringing out a pillow in the moment feels awkward. That’s valid! It’s important to talk beforehand about how you’ll handle a lull in stimulation. You might need to take a few extra minutes to rebuild anticipation.

Others of you say it feels gimmicky or too expensive. Keep in mind that you can use the pillows you already have. Try stacking a few on top of each other. Put them behind your head, hips, or knees. You can use what you already have to change up your positions. 

There are tons of options for pillows, ramps, and wedges online. It might take some trial and error to find the one you like best. But there are various styles and price points available. 

So, what are your next steps if you and your spouse decide you want to bring pillows and wedges into your intimacy for added comfort, connection, and creativity? 

This is where emotional intimacy comes into play. Ask each other questions, such as: 

• “What am I comfortable with?”
• “What could we try with what we already have?”
• “What are my thoughts on bringing something like this into our intimacy?”

Throughout your marriage, you’ll have several conversations like this one, so don’t feel like your answers are set in stone. As your preferences change, you can revisit the discussion about comfort, variety, and exploring new things in the bedroom. 

Finally, embrace the learning cure. It may take a few tries to discover what feels natural and works best for both of you. Start with what you have—such as a couple of pillows stacked together—or check out different products, such as Liberator. 

Take action this week to change up your sex life. Whether it’s a simple conversation, an at-home experiment, or a new purchase, you can strengthen both your emotional and sexual intimacy.

Resources

758: Eyes Wide Open During Sex

19 Questions to Amazing Sex Free Marriage Guide

Fascinator Throw

Connect with Us

Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.