836: GIFT GIVING THAT SPEAKS LOVE
“It’s not how much you give, it’s how much love you put into what you give.” —Mother Theresa
Christmas shopping is in full swing, and this is usually the time of year when spouses try to find the perfect gift for each other.
Truthfully, it’s not hard to simply buy something.
The real challenge is giving a gift to your spouse that speaks love to them.
Sure, you can give a sweater or a vacuum (and if that’s what your spouse really wants, then great!), but are those gifts strengthening your intimacy? Are they showing your spouse that you see, love, and value them?
If you’re not sure whether your gifts are actually meaningful to your spouse, there are five essential questions you need to ask this year.
Before we get into them, it’s important to note that meaningful gifts do not have to be expensive. You can speak love through gift giving without breaking the bank. But it’s far easier to accomplish that when you have open conversations with your spouse.
For 70% of the ONE Family, gifts have the potential to be a source of conflict.
Why? Because 70% of you say that you and your spouse have different styles of gift-giving.
In other words, one of you might prefer physical items while the other prefers experiences.
If you’re not discussing your desires and expectations, you’ll both feel dissatisfied at the end of the holiday season.
Gift preferences are deeply personal.
Some people love physical gifts because they remind them of their spouse’s thoughtfulness or are things they really wanted. Plenty of tangible gifts are associated with feelings of romance or humor, such as jewelry, a handmade gift, or something sentimental. (Click here to view our top romantic gift ideas!)
However, others prefer experiences because the memories last forever. It’s the gifts you can’t put a price tag on—like going on a romantic getaway or accomplishing something together.
The best part about giving gifts to your spouse is that you don’t have to guess.
With a simple conversation, you can learn exactly what things speak love to your spouse—whether it’s something on their wish list, a sexy gift, or a memorable experience.
Here are five questions to help you accomplish gift giving that speaks love to your spouse:
- What types of gifts or experiences have meant the most to you in the past, and why?
- If you could choose a memory or an experience for us to share this year, what would it be?
- What makes you feel most loved when you receive a gift—thoughtfulness, creativity, or its usefulness?
- Are there any traditions or personal touches that make a gift more special for you?
- What have you always wanted to try or do together but haven’t yet?
Be truthful when you answer so your spouse can actually love you in the ways you want!
With your spouse’s answers in mind, you can make thoughtful and informed decisions about how to love them best this holiday season.
Resources
833: Avoiding The Holiday Financial Hangover
No More Junk! Why Experiences Make the Best Holiday Gifts
Top 12 Christmas Gifts for Your Wife
Top 12 Christmas Gifts for Your Husband
Connect with Us
Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.
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