853: Outside the Comfort Zone
“Your world will expand for every step you take outside your comfort zone.” —Maria Irving
Are you willing to break a few habits to connect with your spouse?
There are so many places where you can choose to stay in your comfort zone: conversations, dates, positions, and more.
It’s easier to stay where things feel safe, where you aren’t risking your feelings or comfort.
But when you stay in your comfort zone, your marriage suffers. Why? Because there’s no anticipation, no variety, and no excitement. Things are just the same old, same old.
When you face something new in your marriage, you always have a choice: You can choose to step outside your comfort zone. Or not.
When you step out with full participation and a good attitude, you can experience deeper connection, fun memories, and new discoveries about you, your spouse, and your marriage.
It’s easy to say, “Step out of your comfort zone.” And yet, for many, the habits of a lifetime can be hard to overcome.
There’s a strategy you can use the next time you feel resistant to trying something new for your marriage. It’s called The TIRE Method:
T—Take a breath: Pause and breathe deeply before reacting to discomfort.
I—Identify your resistance: Name the specific fear or resistance. For example, “I’m afraid of rejection” or “I don’t want to look incompetent.”
R—Remember your why: Connect to your deeper motivation, such as, “This matters because our intimacy is worth it!”
E—Engage despite the discomfort: Take action while acknowledging the discomfort. If you step out of your comfort zone but aren’t fully engaged, you will likely create an environment of frustration, resentment, and disconnection. So choose to engage!
Where do you need to dig in this week and get outside your comfort zone? It could be in a deeper conversation you need to have, a special date you need to go on, or something new you need to explore in the bedroom.
Start by identifying where you feel resistance and address those hesitations.
Reaching for your spouse’s hand, asking a question, or choosing to engage can be unnerving. But don’t forget the vows you made on your wedding day.
One of the reasons you should be willing to go outside your comfort zone is because you said, “I do.” So, are you willing to try?
Want to hear more? Join Intimacy Mastery to discover additional strategies you can apply to strengthen your marriage.
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