875: Should You Ask AI About Your Marriage?

“Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.” —Christian Lous Lange

Artificial Intelligence is everywhere now. Whether you’re skimming Google’s AI overviews or asking questions to platforms like ChatGPT, Claude, or Gemini, there’s more information at your fingertips than ever before.

On one hand, it’s great for generating ideas to bring you and your spouse closer together: 

• Date ideas
• Conversation starters
• Lingerie recommendations
• Navigating mismatched libidos
• Understanding your spouse’s perspective when you disagree

AI is available 24/7. It doesn’t judge you for asking awkward questions. And it can help you think through situations from different angles. 

But there’s a darker side of AI when it comes to your marriage. 

AI doesn’t know your spouse or the intricacies of your marriage. In fact, it only looks at one side of the story (yours!). As it gives you “marriage advice,” it acts as your friend, focuses on what you want, and validates your feelings.

That’s dangerous, especially if you start turning to a chatbot instead of your spouse. 

Some of the most important growth in marriage happens in those vulnerable moments where you admit to your spouse that you don’t know what to do and need their help. Those conversations build intimacy. 

But if you’re always going to AI first, you can miss out on opportunities to actually get closer to each other.

So how can you balance using AI while still protecting your most precious relationship? Because let’s be honest: AI can be an extremely helpful tool (as long as it doesn’t become a substitute for connection with your spouse). 

Here are four guidelines to consider: 

1. Use AI as your brainstorming buddy, not your marriage guru. If you want to get a few new ideas, great! But use the suggestions as a conversation starting point with your spouse. 
2. Always verify with your spouse. AI can only give you general advice for general people. It’s not an expert on your spouse. 
3. Know when you need actual human expertise. AI (and any algorithm-driven platform) cannot replace a trained marriage coach, counselor, or therapist. If you’re dealing with serious issues like trust problems, addiction, or infidelity, you need professionals with real training and experience.
4. Don’t let AI rob you of vulnerable moments. Some of the most powerful moments in marriage come from looking at your spouse and saying, “I want to know how to love you better” or “I’m struggling to understand what you need from me.” Those conversations create intimacy.

The challenging moments of marriage are part of creating an extraordinary marriage. So don’t outsource the work to AI or any digital platform. Vulnerability through open, honest conversations is what creates the closeness and connection you desire.

Do the work to create an extraordinary marriage with your spouse—not an AI chatbot with no real investment in your relationship.

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