878: Beyond ‘In Sickness and In Health’
“Beautiful people do not just happen. They are forged through trials, struggles, and loss.” —Elisabeth Kubler Ross
Health challenges are a reality most couples will face at some point. Whether it’s chronic illness, hormonal imbalances, or lifelong medical conditions, your physical health inevitably impacts your marriage.
According to the CDC, six in ten adults in the US have a chronic disease, and four in ten have two or more chronic conditions. These challenges take many forms:
- Chronic pain conditions like fibromyalgia or arthritis
- Hormonal changes from menopause, low testosterone, or thyroid issues
- Autoimmune diseases like lupus or multiple sclerosis
- Diabetes, heart disease, or cancer treatments
- Chronic fatigue or sleep disorders
These conditions don’t just affect the individual. They also affect the spouse and the marriage across all 6 Pillars of Intimacy®:
- Sexual Intimacy: 73% of couples report that chronic health conditions significantly affect their sexual relationship (Journal of Health and Social Behavior).
- Emotional Intimacy: 68% of couples experience increased stress and communication challenges (Journal of Marriage and Family).
- Financial Intimacy: Medical debt impacts 41% of American adults, creating strain on marriages (Kaiser Family Foundation).
- Recreational Intimacy: 45% of adults with chronic conditions limit social and recreational activities due to health (The Commonwealth Fund).
Yet only 38% of couples receive guidance on maintaining intimacy during health challenges (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy).
But there is hope. Couples in the ONE Family have shared how medical challenges actually helped them work together and care more deeply for each other.
In fact, research from the University of Rochester found that 69% of couples said navigating health challenges together ultimately strengthened their relationship.
The reality is that health challenges can either drive you apart or bring you closer. Some couples fall into dysfunctional patterns, including comparison, withdrawal, or shutting down intimacy altogether.
But illness doesn’t have to end intimacy. It can transform it into something deeper and more meaningful.
Redefining intimacy in the midst of medical challenges is crucial. For example, if sexual intercourse isn’t possible, how can you focus on pleasure and connection in other ways? What non-sexual touch can bridge the gap? Intimacy also grows through vulnerable conversations about fears, hopes, and daily experiences.
Another key step is to communicate about your new normal. Don’t shut down, whether you are the one facing health challenges or the supportive spouse. Talk honestly about:
- What feels good and what doesn’t
- Energy levels throughout the day and week
- Medication side effects that affect libido or mood
- Fears about intimacy and physical limitations
You might say, “I want us to stay connected through this. Can we talk about what intimacy looks like for us right now?”
It doesn’t matter if you’re newlyweds or celebrating 40 years. Health challenges don’t discriminate. They affect couples of all ages, so you need to be ready to support each other.
Even if this doesn’t feel relevant right now, ask the hard questions so that if the time comes, you and your spouse have already built a foundation of emotional intimacy.
Strengthening your marriage amid health challenges goes beyond “in sickness and in health.” The goal isn’t to return to how things were, but to discover what extraordinary intimacy looks like in this season of your marriage.
Please note that we are not medical professionals. This episode is not intended to diagnose, treat or in any other way give medical advice. Consult a medical professional with questions or concerns you may have.
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